So today, we’re going back to basics and exploring how to talk specifically about fascism and resistance with our children using simple language that they are more likely to understand. As always, we’re going to share with you some important Kid-Sized Definitions and some action steps to take with children.

Tabitha here: I feel like every time I sit down to write, I start with some version of “In today’s latest Trump travesties…” Every single day seems to bring a fresh dose of disaster, injustice, missteps and plain cruelty.

And yet, us parents are living through it with our young ones, wiping butts and tackling fevers while trying to show up for our families and communities. Try as you might, it’s virtually impossible to keep our parenting separate from what’s happening in this world. AND, just like anti-racist parenting, anti-fascist parenting requires us to find a way to live through this while doing the best we can to resist for the future we want to build for us and our kiddos.

As a Black mama to two Black multiracial children, I try to be intentional and upfront about the times we’re living in with our kids. But honestly, somewhere between homework, feeding our kids three times daily and managing a multitude of feelings about everything from who gets more cereal in the morning to what allowance is fair, some things have slipped through the cracks. And I realized we’ve been talking about fascism and resistance all wild and loose without actually ensuring our kiddos understand what these mean.

Adam here: We’ve repeated this many times and we’ll say it again. It is a privilege to not discuss these topics with kids. Even if we’ve spoken about specific topics like ICE or war or book bans, we need to give our kids the full picture of what is happening. Our goal isn’t to scare them. It’s to help them to understand the times within which they are living and process it in a healthy way.

So, today, we’re providing some support for you in talking with kids about Fascism and Resistance, along with action steps to take. Because what is anti-fascist parenting if all we do is talk amongst ourselves and clutch our pearls, right?

FASCISM

Kid-Sized Definition

Fascism is when one person has all the power, makes all the rules and punishes those who don’t agree with them or who don’t follow the rules. The rules are oftentimes very unfair and unkind to people with the least power.

Conversation Helper

Imagine if one kid on the playground made all the rules and bullied everyone who didn’t agree with them. Imagine if everyone around that kid, like teachers and other kids and even the principal, just let it happen and supported that one kid.

Open-Ended Questions

• How would you feel if something like that happened on the playground?

• How do you think the other kids would feel?

• Why do you think the teachers and other kids and the principal would not try to stop them?

• What would happen if they did try to stop them?

Action Item

• What would you do if something like that happened on the playground?

• What would you do to help the kids who are being hurt by the unfair rules?

RESISTANCE

Kid-Sized Definition

Resistance is fighting back against unfairness. Resistance means taking action against unfairness.

Conversation Helper

Imagine if there was an unfair rule on the playground that everyone had to pay $50 to use the swings. And imagine if one person said, “Nope! This is unfair! Everyone should be able to use the swings!” And they sat on the swing and refused to move until the rule was changed. That’s resistance.

Open-Ended Questions

• Can you think of some ways we can resist unfair rules?

• What are some big ways to resist injustice from people in power?

• What are some little ways to resist unfairness?

Action Item

• What are some unfair rules you’ve heard about that the government is using to hurt people? What do you think we can do to stop it?

• Let’s list 2 things we can do this week - one big and one small - to resist the unfair rules by this government.

If you’re looking for some ways to get involved in resistance efforts with kids, be sure to read our series on The Do’s and Dont’s of Protesting With Kids, and Micro-Resistance when your family’s risk may be higher (e.g. for mixed status families and families of the global majority).

Do this one thing with your kids today!

If you’re looking for one time-sensitive action item to do with kids, read Dr. Megan Pamela Ruth Madison’s article on preventing a federal book banning legislation. She provides a step-by-step guide on contacting your representatives and you can totally do this with older kids.

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That’s it from us for today. If you’re off for Spring Break, enjoy! And if you have been observing Eid, Easter, Solstice, or Passover like we do, we hope you have found joy and community. Chag Sameach!

Tabitha & Adam

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Parenting under fascism requires a myriad of tools under our belts and micro-resistance is but one of them. We’re going to talk about some ways we can normalize micro-resistance with our kids and provide you with some actionable guidance and conversation helpers to get started.

Over the last year, many corporations, institutions and high profile figures have committed the #1 no-no as it pertains to living under a fascist regime.

They’ve obeyed in advance.

From donations to the inauguration, rollbacks on DEI at over 400 campuses across the country, and meetings at the White House to performing at MAGA events, it’s been disappointing to see some of our faves seek to protect their privilege and positionality, throwing the betterment of our country and our children to the wind.

In response to this, many of us have used boycotting as a tool of resistance. Whether it’s as part of a boycott campaign, like Target or Disney, or simply a re-prioritization of our dollars towards companies that align with our values, boycotting is a critical and important micro-resistance tool that each of us have the power to utilize in this fight against fascism globally.

It’s also a really impactful practice for kids to learn as they start to realize the power of money.

This got us thinking about other forms of micro-resistance that families with kids can do to fight oppression. We want to reiterate, though, that these do not replace the need to be visibly resistant and to use our position and privilege to fight back. BUT for some families in our community, visible resistance isn’t an option, like families with immigrants of mixed statuses. Micro-resistance plays an important role in teaching our kids about our responsibility as changemakers during a time of fascism AND can also contribute to the growing pushback against this regime.

It must be said, though, that families with privilege should push themselves to the limits of that privilege especially because others without privilege cannot.

What is Micro-Resistance?

Micro-resistance is a practice that has been studied since 1985 though it’s been in existence for far longer. It is defined as small acts that people or businesses take that may be visible or private with the goal of resisting oppression and injustice. These small acts can contribute in major ways and can be accessible for families, especially those with young kids. Micro-resistance shouldn’t take away the need for bold and brave action in the face of injustice and fascism but these small acts can be revolutionary and can contribute to the snowball of resistance.

Here are some forms of micro-resistance that are accessible to families with kids, actions for each and a short conversation helper to start discussing these with your kids:

Boycotts

Many families can choose to stop shopping at big brands that are complicit or directly support this administration. Some examples of these brands are Meta, Amazon, Target, and McDonalds (McDonalds also faces boycotts for their complicity in the genocide in Gaza).

Action- Shop at small businesses wherever possible. Plan ahead to decrease the need to resort to the most convenient options when in a rush.

Conversation Helper- “As a family, we use our money to shop at places that care for everyone and that try to do as little harm as possible. This business is not one of them. They (give a concrete example of what the business is doing to cause harm). Let’s do some research together to find another place to shop.”

Sharing Factual Information

In this current age of rampant disinformation, sharing accurate information can be instrumental in correcting narratives. This is especially necessary for older relatives who may not be as tech-savvy and may be susceptible to deliberate disinformation attempts. It can also be helpful for young men who may be particularly vulnerable to creeping misogyny online.

Action-This can look like sending fact-based news articles. For teens, it can look like texting fact-based social media links to perspectives that center healthy masculinity, justice and equity. Check back to see what 3 things they found most interesting in the article to spark a discussion.

Conversation Helper- “It’s important for us to share information that is true. Let’s research that thing Grandma told us about yesterday and send her the information we find. I can do the reading and you can press the laptop buttons (older kids can read on their own).”

Using Art to Resist

Creating art as a family can be a powerful way to help open discussions about resisting fascism. AND educating our kids about fighting fascism is not a micro-resistance. That’s big-time resistance.

Action- Set aside some time weekly (maybe on the weekend if weekdays are too wild) to create protest art together. Use this opportunity to talk with kids about what’s happening in the world, what us families can do about it and the world we want to build together. Display the art in their room and/or in shared living spaces or a window. These can even be conversation starters for guests to your home.

Conversation Helper- “Let’s get out our art supplies and make some art to express how we feel. This week, I saw that X happened (focus on one issue). Why do you think that is unfair? Let’s draw what you think can be done about it and let’s think about where we can hang it up.”

Language As Resistance

We’ve witnessed increased attacks on trans people and queer people, both from this administration, online and in society. Raising children who respect and honor everyone for who they are can include starting with inclusive language in everyday life.

Action- Incorporate inclusive language in play. If your kiddo loves dolls or figurines, include gender neutral pronouns and identities. Normalize asking what their pronouns are, even in play. In everyday life, veer away from assuming people’s gender based on how they look.

Conversation Helper- “I love your doll’s dress! What is their favorite color?” or “That person’s car is a lovely shade of yellow. I wonder if yellow is their favorite color” or “I didn’t notice your new figurine. What’s their pronouns?”

Advocate To Lawmakers

Even though it might seem futile at this moment in history, lawmakers can shift their policy stances based on what they hear from their constituents. It may seem like a small thing to call or write to lawmakers but every call or letter can add to the growing voices of resistance.

Action- Use tools like 5 Calls or Common Cause to advocate to one’s local representatives.

Conversation Helper- “Lawmakers make the rules that can either help us or harm us and our community. Let’s write a letter to them to let them know what we believe in and that they need to think about this when they are making the rules.”

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Okay, so it could be argued that all of these are not actually tiny acts at all 🙂They can have tremendous impact for sure.

But!

More importantly, they can help us and our kids normalize and habitualize resistance towards injustice and fascism. When these small acts are normalized in the home, our kids grow up knowing that resistance is actionable and should be a part of their daily lives. Each small act may seem tiny to us but they can contribute to building a louder megaphone that can’t be ignored.

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That’s it from us for today. Try to get some fresh air today, okay? Do one small thing that brings you joy and tell us about it.

Sending our best,

Tabitha & Adam

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While many saw this as an innocent comment, maybe even complimentary, it actually revealed the subtleties of bias that are all around us.

Black style is such a defining and influential force in culture. Black hair has always been an expression of who Black women and girls are and how we show up in the world. Be it trends like knotless boho braids or classic afros, our style is a huge part of our cultural expression and it often sets the tone for trends globally.

Rassi’s comment showed clearly that knowledge of Black style was not seen as a requirement for reporting about one of the biggest media moments in entertainment.

Braids are a very intentional, time-intensive hairstyle that many Black women and girls use. What could have been a moment to focus on the power and influence of Black beauty on one of the biggest red carpets in the world was over-shadowed by Rassi’s ignorance about Black culture. The word “undone” especially when used in contrast to her “done” dress implied that the hairstyle was out of place, not fit to be matched with a red carpet dress.

But this is the Raising Antiracist Kids newsletter so this article isn’t really about Rassi.

And it’s actually not even about Infiniti’s stunning look.

It’s about the words that are still being used to describe Black women and girls’ hair that many may view as harmless but that actually send forth big hints of racism, ignorance and othering.

The phrase “undone” is problematic, because throughout American history, Black people have been judged harshly by the white gaze, risking not getting a job, being arrested or potentially even worse if we are perceived to be “undone” or shabby or unkempt.

Still, because we aim to be asset-based in our parenting, here’s some guidance on talking about Black hair with and around kids, especially if you’re not Black (some Black people note that they don’t want to be othered and actually resent any extra attention to their appearance. Some appreciate the positive affirmations. Everyone is entitled to their stance on this). If you have any doubts, don’t make a comment but compliments can be empowering for our Black kids. We offer some guidance on this:

As a Black woman, I’ve heard it all about my hair. AND I’m a multi-racial Black woman, as is Chase Infiniti. The racist responses to mono-racial Black women are even more stark. In a society where whiteness is framed as the norm, frizz is seen as the enemy and the racist implications of that have been felt for generations of Black women.

The words we use with our little Black girls have a profound impact on how they view themselves, their bodies, their hair and their sense of place in this world. What some may see as flippant comments can actually be super harmful.

Conversation Helpers

We’re big fans of using culture to teach our kids important lessons on anti-racism so here are some conversation helpers to spark a convo with your kid about Black hair using the Oscars red carpet comment.

• “Last night, at the Oscars, someone used the word “undone” to describe a Black woman’s hair. That word may seem innocent but it actually is part of a long history of people trying to make Black culture feel out of place in society.”

• “What do you think are some other words that could have been used to describe the woman’s hair?”

• “What words do you think can help a Black woman or girl feel powerful in their skin?”

• “What words do you think can actually be unkind and not helpful when talking about Black hair?”

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Talking to all children about the power of Blackness in culture can both reflect their own greatness for our Black kiddos, and teach all kids that everyone has the right to be themselves fully in every setting in society.

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That’s it from us for today. Enjoy your week and try to get some fresh air, okay?

Tabitha

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Okay! The good news first! Antiracist parenting can:

1. Help you raise compassionate, justice-minded, smart kids who develop a lens on equity that will be instrumental in every area of their lives as kids and as adults. Our son sometimes comes home from school and is able to identify racist things he has heard. In contrast, we also hear from adults, grown folks, who witness racism in front of their very eyes and cannot identify it for what it is. They stumble. They excuse. The more kids are educated on antiracism, the more they take that knowledge and apply it to their lives now and into adulthood.

2. Lead you to a community of parents, educators and caregivers who actually care about this earth, its inhabitants and our shared future. Folks who want to co-create a world where all our kids are treated with love, respect and kindness. Whether that community is in-person or whether it’s this little space we have here on Substack, we’ve witnessed firsthand that this community can lift us up as we learn and grow from each other.

3. Help you, the parent, develop an antiracist lens. You’ll be able to identify inequity around you, which is the first step to actually doing something about it. We’ll be really honest with you. It is virtually impossible to go through the process of raising antiracist kids without the journey impacting you as well. For instance, it takes mental work to break down big concepts like white supremacy and fascism to kids and that requires us adults to be clear on what we mean when we use those words. That’s part of the learning for us, too.

4. Change the expectations you have for your community. You’ll have an eye on the books in your local library and your kid’s class library. This work will support you in having conversations about what diversity really is and why token diversity is actually pretty harmful (more on that in another article). You’ll start to question the equity on your local playground. And, hopefully, you’ll find local organizations to support who already do this work.

5. Make you less tolerant of injustice because it’s the world our kids are inheriting. You’re probably already marching and writing letters to lawmakers and putting every bit of privilege you have on the line. The more antiracist parenting work you do, the more action-oriented you’ll become when you realize that all of us have a role to play in building the equitable community our kids deserve.

With that being said 🙂

We want to be super honest with you about what antiracist parenting won’t do. Specifically we want to be kindly and ever so gently blunt about the realities of being a part of this community. Antiracist parenting won’t:

1. Automatically raise antiracist kids. Though we do have a framework of 6 Building Blocks of Antiracist Parenting that we recommend, there is no magic formula or ratio that will pop out antiracist kids. And dare we say that anyone who tells you otherwise is not being truthful. Every kid is different. Every family is different. Every parent is different. We each bring so much into this work. The path to raising antiracist kids is not linear and it takes constant re-evaluation of what’s landing and not landing for each individual child.

2. Let us off the hook for our own individual antiracist journey. As adults, it’s still on us to look inward to tackle our inner biases and racisms. It’s still on us to work on dismantling racism on interpersonal and systemic levels. And though we’ve heard from so many that antiracist parenting work can be a beginning step for adult newcomers (like grandparents), the work must deepen for us. And that goes for all of us, even those of us who have been doing this work for a long time. There are always biases that need unpacking and areas of sensitivity that need examining.

3. Leave us comfortable. This work is hard. We’re not even going to sugarcoat it for you. Unpacking one’s privilege is hard. Watching your child face racism is heartbreaking. Hearing your kiddo notice racism for the first time is difficult. What antiracist parenting will do, though, is equip you with the tools to feel more prepared to guide your kids on an antiracist journey with conversation starters, resources, tools and more.

4. Leave us thinking that learning is the only part of this that is important. Antiracism is action-oriented. Being a continuous student of antiracism is necessary for us adults BUT it’s imperative that those learnings translate into action in one’s community, nationally and/or globally. So find local community, use your voices, privilege and positionality and keep at it constantly.

5. Keep us in a bubble. Here’s the reality. Everything is related to racism. Yes, we stand by that statement. Racism exists in the healthcare system, in our neighbourhoods, in politics, in sports, in our schools, in our friendships, on the playground…you get the point. If you pay attention to what is happening locally, nationally and globally, it starts to become really obvious the role race and racism play, especially as it intersects with privilege, socio-economics, gender, immigration, and more. Being antiracist, teaching our kids about antiracism means staying abreast to what is happening and seeking out ways to dismantle racist systems on the macro and micro levels. For many of us, our very existence is politicized by those in power so staying in the know remains a matter of survival. And in this moment in history, all of us are in danger because of the fascist in the White House and his enablers.

Antiracist parenting is hard. Parenting under fascism is hard. Parenting kids of color, kids of the global majority is hard. But you’re here with us and having community makes it all a bit easier.

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So don’t be shy about commenting, sending us an email about a topic you want to see us write about, or simply sending a note of frustration when the going gets tough. We’re in this with you and please know many other people are, too.

That’s it for us for today. Stay grounded and connect with your kiddo a bit today, okay? See you again, soon.

Tabitha & Adam

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Tabitha here: I had one of those precious moments hearing Ashanti Branch speak at the Marketing to Men Summit in New York City. Ashanti Branch, Founder and Executive Director of the Ever Forward Club, is a leader in youth mental health and education reform with 20+ years helping schools build safer, more connected communities. A 2023 U.S. Surgeon General Medallion recipient, 4x TEDx speaker, podcaster, and Fulbright Fellow, he champions healing and authenticity through workshops, media, and storytelling. When I heard Ashanti speak about healthy masculinity, his clarity, his work and his powerful presence were notable and I was left with a profound feeling that I needed to shift some of the ways I was parenting our son.

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Adam here: We’re parents to a young boy that we’re raising in the age of social media, toxic masculinity, and the impact of folks like Charlie Kirk. He’s being raised during a time when trad wives are being framed as the response to feminism, where white supremacy seeks to teach young men-particularly young white men- that they’re owed something by society and they have a right to be resentful against women and people of color when their expectations don’t get met. So when Tabitha met Ashanti, we knew we had to have him on the Raising Anti-racist Kids podcast to talk about the intersection between healthy masculinity and antiracist parenting.

Take a listen to the episode and hear Ashanti talk about his upbringing by a single mother, his career pivot to education, and a simple but powerful tool he uses to help boys and young men get in touch with their emotions.

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Some links to check out:

• Million Mask Movement

• Ever Forward Club

• Branch Speaks

• unMASKing with Male Educators: Creating Emotionally Safe Classrooms & Schools for Male Students

Thanks so much for listening. Let us know what’s coming up for you after you listen. Love up on your kids and enjoy your week, okay?

Tabitha & Adam

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Listen to the episode HERE.

I chatted with the host Elise Hu about how parents and kids are processing this moment in history and particularly how to talk with kids about it. It’s a rich episode with lots of tips and a bit about how it’s relevant to my work at Women’s March.

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Here are 5 things you may not know about this episode:

1. The Kids Co. has really great introduction books for many tough topics facing kids. We’ve loved their books on a wide range of topics from divorce to long-term care. If you’re looking for simple, direct, introductory books for your kids, check them out.

2. One of my favorite things to do is talk about liberation work and kids. Because of my dedication to collective liberation and to the future of our kids, I love sharing about it with anyone who will listen. So whether it’s in my DMs or on social media or on a podcast, I want to be in conversation with others because the goal is for us to build a world for our kids that is better than the one we’re living in. One centered on justice, collective freedom and equity.

3. This might come as a surprise because of my line of work but I am very wary of being interviewed. I’ve done one or two interviews where my words were misconstrued and misinterpreted. I’m also always learning and growing (as we all should be) and interviews are time capsules of my perspectives at that given point in time which could shift and change. So I accept invitations from people whose bodies of work I trust and who respect the gravity of the work Adam and I do, such as A Kids Co. AND this is also not about me. The work is bigger than my discomfort and it needs voices who can share openly about the need for us to involve our kids in our protest work. So I’m here for it.

4. Although this podcast episode focused on protesting with kids, I didn’t get a chance to bring in the importance of protesting even when some of our allies in the movement may shy away from it, like protests in support of Palestinian liberation. Teaching kids about political protest is important AND it’s also important to teach them about movements that are currently facing immense opposition from every lever of power, even on the left. Adam and I have been talking with our kids and taking them to protests in support of Palestine since they were super young. I remember taking them to a protest in Bay Ridge in New York City when our daughter was a wee thing. It didn’t get major coverage in the news and that’s why it was even more necessary for us to show up. We must teach kids that all of our liberation is interconnected and we should use our voices and our power wherever we can.

5. I filmed this episode at 10pm so I was super exhausted. My schedule is tight and I never know what my life is going to look like too far into the future. I also tend to work wild hours to accommodate my kids’ schedules. Though I was exhausted, once the convo got started, the topic and questions really gave me a jolt of energy and I forgot the time, my kids asleep in the next room and all else.

That’s it from me for today. Listen to the episode and let me know what you think. Sending love to you all. Take care and be safe, okay?

Tabitha

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Wired Magazine notes that, “Over 70,000 people are in detention as of January 25, according to the most recent available data from Syracuse University’s Transactional Records Access Clearinghouse.” This includes children who are still in ICE detention, as many as 170 kids per day at times. The impact on children is devastating.

As parents of two kids, and just as humans, this is gut wrenching and horrific.

As we’ve said many many times before, it’s on us to talk with our kids about this in an age-appropriate and kid-appropriate way.

But how can we actually do that?

The Brooklyn Public Library, one of our favorite institutions, put together some resources for doing just that and we’re sharing these resources with you.

You’ll find:

➠ Conversation Starters

➠ Kids Book Recommendations

➠ Resources for Impacted Families

➠ Resources for Families in Solidarity with Impacted Families

➠ And more…

Resources: Talking With Kids About ICE

We got the chance to chat with Jessica Ralli, Brooklyn Public Library’s Manager of Early Literacy Programs and Special Initiatives, who led the compilation of these invaluable resources.

Raising Antiracist Kids: What led you to compile this list of resources?

Jessica: I initially received an email from an educator who regularly attends our workshops, asking for resources on how to talk with young children about ICE. As I began gathering materials and drafting a response, it became clear that this information would be useful to more than one person. I reached out to our children’s librarians, as well as our Outreach and Immigrant Services team, to help identify books, ideas, and trusted resources. There is a great deal of thoughtful information already being shared out in the world, and one of the key roles libraries can play is researching, organizing, and presenting that information in ways that are accessible, trustworthy, and easy for families and educators to navigate.

RAK: What is the most important takeaway for parents reading this list?

Jessica: The most important takeaway really depends on each family’s circumstances, but one message I hope parents and caregivers come away with is that children notice and understand more than we often realize. When something is happening in our communities, it can show up in children’s feelings, questions, and fears. Talking with children in age-appropriate, thoughtful ways can help them make sense of what they’re noticing, and silence isn’t always protective. It’s also important to recognize that being able to ignore what’s happening is a form of privilege and is a choice that many families don’t have right now.

RAK: What is one hope you have for immigrant families when they see this resource?

Jessica: I hope immigrant families see this resource and feel supported, and know that the library is for them, and always will be. I want them to know that there are people at the library who are working every day to celebrate, welcome, and stand with immigrant communities. And if it doesn’t feel safe to come into the library right now, I hope they still know that we are here for them, and are constantly trying to think of new, better ways we can be here for them.

RAK: What is one thing all families can do to support their community right now?

Jessica: One resource we shared is Hands Off NYC Families. They are organizing families, parents, and educators in school communities to protect and support impacted families. If you’re in NYC, I would say start there. If not, I would look at their resources and see if you can do something similar in your community. Other than that, start talking, sharing, and connecting. Now is not the time to be silent.

That’s it from us for today, folks. If you found any of this helpful, drop a note to let us know.

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As isolating as parenting can feel at times, please know we’ve got each other. They want us separated, fearful and inactive. We’re refusing that. Even when us parents are afraid, even when we don’t have all the right words and answers for our kiddos, we’re still determined to raise a generation that won’t repeat the mistakes of the past, who are kinder, more compassionate and just plain decent human beings.

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We’re sending care to you and hoping you get a bit of respite this weekend.

Tabitha & Adam

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Last night, Bad Bunny hosted a bashment and invited the entire world to join. He delivered an outstandingly resonant and timely performance that offered healing to so many of us in ways that are indescribable.

It was brilliant in its use of symbolism and allegory, building off of the storytelling Kendrick Lamar gave us last year. The celebration of culture, the little and big bits of significance (did you catch the ever present kid asleep in a corner of every Caribbean hang out?), the food, the sugarcane fields, the dancing, the many skin tones, the people in the corner braiding hair, the celebration of queerness! All of it was a balm in these truly troublesome times.

There was a football game on the side, too, but Adam can tell you more about that once he is done sulking that Sam Darnold wasn’t leading the Minnesota Vikings. That’s for another time.

This morning, I was watching some clips from Benito’s performance and our 6-year-old daughter walked up and asked me, “What’s that?”

I happened to be watching a clip of Bad Bunny handing a little boy a Grammy award. Whether this scene represented Benito himself as a child or Liam Ramos or the dreams of millions of other immigrant children, centering childhood was profound. So many immigrant children have had their innocence robbed because of ICE’s attacks on our families and this scene almost brought me to tears. Many parents are always trying to find the right balance between being truthful with kids and protecting them. For immigrant children and us immigrant parents, this choice is so much harder. Immigrant families need to have conversations about ICE with kids as a matter of safety and preparedness. And that is heartbreaking.

So I shared some simple words with my young child, some of which I want to share with you, in addition to more pointers on how to chat with kids about this. In our home, we strongly believe in using cultural moments to teach kids about social justice. This is their childhood, their growth, their development and culture happens both as a backdrop to and an influence on that. As always, I struggled internally with how to share honestly with my young daughter without scaring her. I hope my words helped answer her question, educated her a bit and also piqued her curiosity.

CONVERSATIONS WITH KIDS

• “This little boy can represent Liam Ramos. Liam and his dad were taken by ICE because of racism against Black and Brown immigrants.”

• “He’s back home now because a lot of people used their voices to get loud and say that is not ok.”

• “He could also be like other kids who are immigrants, often with brown skin like yours.”

• “In this video, Bad Bunny is maybe reminding all kids, especially Black and Brown kids, that even when you’re scared and unsure of what’s going to happen, there are always people who want to help you.”

• “There are always people who will love you and celebrate you because you are you.”

CONVERSATION NOTES FOR ADULTS

Here are some notes for you, as the adult, to remember as you use this video and script to open up a conversation with your little one:

1. Liam and his dad were taken by ICE not because they are immigrants. They were targeted because of systems of xenophobia and racism from those in charge of our country. We should never accept the narrative that who we are is the reason for hate. We should always lay the blame for hate squarely at the feet of those with power, and destructive systems.

2. These attacks are particularly against Black and Brown immigrants. Though some white immigrants are also being affected, the vast majority of those impacted are Black and Brown. These attacks are steeped in a toxic mix of xenophobia and racism (I simplified it for my daughter but I plan to come back to this conversation with her to delve in deeper).

3. I reminded my daughter that Liam is home now because I know the next question was going to be if Liam was okay. Do I know if Liam is okay? Though I know he is alive, he will likely be emotionally affected by this experience for a long time. And it’s not over for Liam and his family. Their case is still ongoing and the threat of deportation still lurks for them. As an adult, that breaks me. It also devastates me that lots of children are still being detained by ICE and are not free today.

4. I tried to help her see that everyday people have power and that using your voice can be powerful, even if you’re a kid. We have been to protests and we follow what is happening in cities like Minneapolis and Chicago, so she has some understanding of people power already.

5. I know that this topic might be scary for her so I reminded her that feeling scared is understandable. It makes sense to be scared. A lot of us adults are scared.

6. I added in love. Because ultimately, love centers the work we do and drives us forward in our parenting.

The Super Bowl Halftime show was more than entertainment. It was a bold declaration of the impact of the Caribbean (did you see the Trinbagonian flag??), of immigrants, of children, of culture and of what truly contributes to a great America. And today, we’re basking in the afterglow of that statement.

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That’s it from us for today. Stay safe and warm. Love up on your kids and take some time to do something healing for you, too, okay?

Tabitha & Adam

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For us parents, it’s imperative that we find ways to talk with our kids about the realities of this time. We need tools to help us have honest discussions and we found a book that can support you with doing just that. If you’re looking for one single book that can invite and open discussions with children about immigrants, people who are undocumented and organizing work, invest in this one.

Our 11 year old son said, “I don’t know if I should like this book but it’s very informative.”

Undocumented, A Worker’s Fight by Duncan Tonatiuh is a must-read for parents and kids.

The foldout design of this kids book coupled with powerful illustrations bring the lessons to life in a way that is timely for us all.

During these dreadful times, us parents need all the help we can get in finding a balance between keeping our kiddos informed and protecting their childhoods. This book presents the learnings in ways that do just that.

PARENT RESOURCES

We’ve said many times before that it’s ultimately up to parents/caregivers on whether to take children to protests. But that doesn’t mean that us parents can’t protest without our kiddos. Especially if you hold privilege, you’re needed now more than ever. Here are some tips to support you.

• How to prepare for a protest with Kalaya’an Mendoza, a renowned expert on protest safety.

• If you’re at a protest, here’s how to tell if the situation is escalating.

FAMILY RESOURCES

• If you can’t protest, boycott. Start with these businesses.

• If you can’t abstain from work and school on days of national walkouts, do these things to show solidarity.

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We promised to be brief today so we’re going to end here. Remember that we ultimately keep each other safe. Community is the antidote to fear. Find a few people in your network to talk with, organize with and laugh with. We have each other and they can’t take that away from us.

Give your kid a hug if they allow you, okay?

Tabitha & Adam

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How else can we take action with our kiddos during these times?

Over the last weeks/months we’ve watched with a mixture of horror and anger as rights and freedoms that have been fought for and won over history are dismantled. It’s been especially striking to witness the escalation of fascist attacks on immigrants by ICE in communities that we hold dear.

Talking with our oldest child about this has been painful and devastating but we’ve found it necessary to help keep him grounded and informed. Our older kids are discussing these attacks with their friends at school so it really is best for us to be their #1 source of factual information.

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Tabitha here: I’ve been chin-deep in helping organize the #FreeAmerica Walkouts that will be happening tomorrow, January 20 at 2pm local time. This is part of a huge effort to fight back against fascism and to share our collective outrage. So far, over 730 events are happening across the country (and a handful across the world) with thousands of people confirmed to walk out of work, school and commerce. It’s been exhausting but deeply necessary work as we fight for our freedoms. We’re showing them that the power of the people is unstoppable.

Adam here: We often do organizing work that doesn’t reach this newsletter because of the varying levels of risk for children. While we encourage age-appropriate and kid-appropriate conversations to keep kids informed on a wide range of topics, some social justice actions can be unpredictable and it’s always up to parents to assess the risk of bringing kids along. The #FreeAmerica Walkout is for all ages. It’s an action that is especially great for families because parents can plan walkouts with their kids and communities and design a kid-appropriate action. I’m walking out especially to be in solidarity with the people resisting ICE’s attempted takeover of my hometown of Minneapolis.

Here is some information for you to know about this walkout.

WHAT:

The #FreeAmerica Walkout. Find more information at freeameri.ca.

WHEN:

January 20, 2026, 2pm local time

WHERE:

There are actions in all 50 states and even a few globally. Find one near you here. Don’t see one? You can host your own walkout here. Every person walking/rolling out makes a statement and contributes to the whole impact, even if you have 2-3 people walking out of business as usual.

WHY:

Our families are facing escalating threats all around us, from attacks from ICE, attacks on our trans siblings and children, attacks on education and troops occupying our cities. We cannot allow business as usual. We need to walk out of school, work and commerce to send a clear message that this is a protest and a promise. In the face of fascism, we will dissent.

CONVERSATION POINTERS when talking with younger kids:

• “On Tuesday at 2pm, people are walking out of school and work, and pausing shopping to show our power.”

• “When we take a step back from how things usually are, we send a strong message.”

• “That message is that we won’t stop fighting until all of us are safe and have what we need.”

• “It’s important that we take part in this action because we’re a part of our community. Fighting for our safety and the safety of our neighbours is part of what being a community member is all about. When we care about our community, we join with others to make our voices heard.”

RESOURCES when talking with older kids:

• The history of walkouts

• Why walkouts are used as a strategy

• What to do if you cannot walk out

During this time, it’s important for us parents to find a balance between helping our kids feel safe and seen, and bringing them into movements whenever and wherever possible. This Tuesday, we’re walking out for the country we want our little ones to inherit. A place where we are all free.

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That’s it from us for now. Take good care and love up on your kids, okay?

Tabitha & Adam

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If you’re a parent or caregiver, these last few days of the year may be a blur of blissfully lazy mornings, slightly dysregulated kids who are trying to adjust to holiday schedules, and maybe a dose of disorientation for us adults, too, as we try to maneuver big expectations for 2026.

It’s hard to reflect on 2025. So much–our work in antiracism and equity, our communities, our world–have been under attack. Wherever you’re landing at the end of 2025, whatever you did to survive the tumult, we know we have to keep fighting. Even if it’s only because we believe that a more equitable, safer world is possible for us and our kids, we gotta keep at it. We’re about to come out on the other end of 2025, and though we don’t know what 2026 will have in store for us, it’s a big accomplishment that we made it through.

Tabitha here: Adam and I aim to provide relevant and engaging antiracist parenting resources and we also want to offer hope in these times. We want you to read our Substack and come away feeling empowered, ready and driven to action for the work ahead.

Some of our work this year resonated with folks in ways we didn’t expect. So we’re sharing the top 5 stories of 2025 that people read, shared, interacted with and told us they learned from the most.

Our 5 Most Read Stories of 2025

1. Part 1: Endurance & Action: Hope for Parents during Trumpism

Tabitha here: Some of our most read stories of 2025 were from the series Parenting Under Facism, and within the series, the piece that resonated the most with folks was the one on hope. We completely understand that–we all need a good dose of hope. One of my besties regularly, like obsessively, feeds me hope. And it is like little infusions of mental and emotional nourishment that I need to keep going. If this article did that for you, we’re honored to be able to contribute to what keeps you moving forward.

2. Part 2: 6 Groundings For Parenting Under Fascism

Adam here: In the midst of it all, we need to try to be grounded as parents. Regulated parents create regulation for kids. That’s not to say that Tabitha and I don’t lose our cool sometimes. We’re all human. But creating practices that help us stay grounded, regulated and calm during these dreadful times can have a profound impact on our kids’ childhoods and allow us the space to dream of a better future.

3. Tabitha & Dr. Ibram X. Kendi In Conversation: In-Person Event

Tabitha here: Being in conversation with Dr. Kendi was a highlight of the year. It was a powerful discussion about his new young adult biography of Malcolm X, and it also provided some insights and parallels into the current state of matters in the U.S. It was wonderful to see a packed house, and many people left feeling encouraged, emboldened and hopeful for the work ahead.

4. The Do’s and Dont’s of Protesting With Kids: PART 1

Tabitha here: Right after the Kick Out the Clowns action earlier this year, someone online asked about setting up bouncy castles to keep kids engaged at a protest. That led us to consider some realistic ways parents and caregivers can protest with kids, using these protest actions to engage in important conversations and community building while raising their voices against inequity. Parents need to make hard decisions about safety for our kiddos all the time and that’s even more important in protest settings.

5. The Dos and Dont’s of Talking With Kids About Colonization

Adam here: So many of us live in countries that have colonized others. Not just in the past but in the present as well. It serves no-one to hide these facts from our kids and to sugarcoat holidays that do more harm than good to our communities. Many parents found this article useful especially during family gatherings in November.

Tabitha’s Favorite 2025 TikToks

We also want to share with you some of Tabitha’s favorite TikToks of 2025, because lots of community building happens over there as well.

1. 4 Truths No-one Will Tell You About Parenting Under Fascism

2. Things We Teach Our Kids

3. Miss Rachel in conversation with Glamour Magazine

4. 4 Anti-Fascist Lessons I’m Taking Into 2026

5. And last but not least, a little hope for us folks trying to parent through fascism

Our Podcast is Growing!

We were also super excited to have begun to host interviews on our podcast, The Raising Antiracist Kids Podcast. This year, we spoke with Andrew Lefkowits and Dr. Val Brown from the Integrated Schools Podcast, as well as Ailen Arreaza from ParentsTogether. Stay tuned for our next conversation on the intersection of toxic masculinity and white supremacy.

As we wrap up 2025, know that we are in this community with you.

We’re all trying to raise kids who are kind, justice-oriented, confident people who help their communities in a healthy, generative way. And some parents are doing it amidst scary and dangerous circumstances. But you don’t have to do it alone. We’ve here with you and so are many other parents and caregivers around the world.

Here are some questions to ask yourself and your kids as we move into 2026:

1. What is one of my 2025 antiracist parenting practices that I am proud of?

2. What are three habits I will use to keep myself grounded in 2026?

3. Who are (at least) three people I will build community with/keep engaged with in 2026?

4. Where are some places I will look to get accurate news from a wide range of sources in the new year?

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Hug up on your little ones, and stay hopeful! Happy New Year to you and yours and we’ll see you on the flip side.

xo

Tabitha & Adam

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The art of breaking down big concepts into kid-appropriate language that kids actually understand is necessary whether you’re talking about why there’s no white history month or whether you’re teaching your little kiddo about pronouns. For kids, these conversations aren’t hard because they’re already focused on what’s fair and equitable in their own little worlds. For us adults, though, it’s helpful for us to use language and techniques that reach kids where they’re at.

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We always describe our antiracist parenting work as a journey. Sometimes we need to go to other parents to learn about how others are maneuvering raising kind, empathetic, justice-oriented children. So naturally, we wanted to chat with Ailen Arreaza, the co-founder and executive director of ParentsTogether, an organization that really gets it right with teaching us parents and caregivers how to talk with kids about just about anything.

If you’re curious about how to have big convos with little kiddos and are looking for 3 direct steps on how to do this, plus a host of other really powerful guidance, take a listen. Here’s a little teaser for you:

If you’re looking for more information on ParentsTogether, check out their:

Instagram

Website

That’s it for us for today, friends.

Thanks so much for being on this journey with us. Take good care of yourself and your kiddos and let us know how this episode landed for you, okay?

Tabitha & Adam

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Tabitha: We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving in Trinidad & Tobago so, when I first came to this country, I would often spend time with friends on the holiday, while most of my family worked.

Adam: For as long as I can remember, this holiday has been a big opportunity for my family to get together from afar, break bread and spend quality time with each other. Looking back, though, the holiday has also played a role in assimilation in America. While our other family get-togethers are centered around Jewish holidays, where we were not part of the dominant culture, Thanksgiving meant doing the same things as our mostly Christian neighbors.

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Us parents know that when you have kids of your own, the importance of honoring holidays becomes even more crucial as these can be opportunities to make memories with loved ones. But amidst all these feel-good vibes, there exists a reality, a history that has been white-washed and reimagined over time. The origins of this holiday didn’t involve just peace and gratitude, as our children are often taught. It is actually part of a larger history of colonization, land theft and deceit. Here are some ways we can chat with kids about this reality…and some things we should avoid.

WHAT TO DO

Use Accurate Terms

COLONIZE-”To colonize means to steal land and things that belong to other people and to claim that land and those things as your own. How would you feel if someone took your home and said it was theirs?”

INDIGENOUS PEOPLE-”Indigenous people are the first people who lived on the land we exist on. The colonizers claimed that the land they stole was empty but it wasn’t. Indigenous people lived on this land for a long time before and still do. We currently live on the land of the {Munsee Lenape} people (look up the land you occupy here).”

INDIGENEITY-”Indigenous people and culture isn’t some stuff far off in the past. Indigenous people live in this country right now and their culture remains vibrant and strong even though colonizers have tried to get rid of it.”

NATIONAL DAY OF MOURNING-”Indigenous communities recognize the 4th Thursday of November as a National Day of Mourning because it marks the colonization of their land and people in the United States.”

GENOCIDE-”Genocide is when some people destroy another group of people on purpose because of who they are, where they’re from, their race or their religion. It’s even possible for a group of people who were once victims to become the aggressors. The pilgrims, who were hurt by people in Europe, came here and committed genocide against Indigenous peoples.”

THANKSGIVING-”Though some people use Thanksgiving to spend time with family and friends and to reflect on gratitude, it’s important for us to know the correct history of this holiday. The “traditional” story shares a faulty view of one meal in a history of colonizers stealing land, committing genocide and even more harm for Indigenous people. In fact, many U.S. presidents have used this myth to push political ideas.”

Incorporate the Conversation Into Your Day

While you’re traveling or cooking or getting ready, bring up the convo with your kids. Make it a part of your day as opposed to a sidelined conversation. Be sure to pick a time when you and your kids are connecting so that you have their attention.

Use Kid-Appropriate Resources

• Read: Indigenous Books by Indigenous authors. For middle school/older grades, Madison Public Schools has this list of books.“

• Get involved: Cultural Survival “advocates for Indigenous Peoples’ rights and supports Indigenous communities’ self-determination, cultures and political resilience since 1972”. They provide a list of resources for relearning Thanksgiving and honoring Native peoples. Set up a monthly donation and reach out to them to see how you and your kids can support their work further.

• Read: Raising Kids Who Decenter Colonization by Little Justice Leaders

• Watch: This video based on an interview with Crystal Echo Hawk about how to talk to kids about Thanksgiving.

WHAT NOT TO DO

Avoid Saying These Things:

1. “It’s complicated”-Many children can clearly identify when they are being hurt and they witness unfairness and injustice. Often, people use the word “complicated” when they don’t want to engage deeply around a topic that can lead to discomfort for those with privilege.

2. “Some people don’t celebrate Thanksgiving”-The colonization of Indigenous communities is a travesty all of us should be educated about and take action on as we aim to raise children centered on justice and equity.

3. “Well, we choose to honor Thanksgiving by focusing on gratitude”. The reimagining of Thanksgiving is part of the white-washing of history that is so thorough in American culture. Gratitude is a great trait for families to focus on daily. We can get together with family and friends because many people are off school and work. We can have a yummy meal when we commune with loved ones. We can do these things while centering the truth.

Don’t be afraid to use these pointers around others.

Model for your kids that discussions about accurate history belong everywhere, not just sidelined to private conversations. This conversation may not be welcomed everywhere, especially in white-dominant spaces. But it’s so necessary to show our kids that being unapologetic about truth and justice in all spaces is a part of building communities where all of us are safe.

Don’t frame Indigenous culture and peoples as in the past.

As mentioned previously, Indigenous peoples are alive today and justice is still yet to be served for the genocide of their peoples and the continued invisibilization of their culture.

Don’t limit the conversation to only this week.

Keep the unlearning and learning going and make it consistent all year round.

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It’s totally possible to spend time with loved ones while centering accurate history and resisting the urge to gloss over it because it ruins the vibe. We can raise a generation of children grounded in truth, history and power.

That’s it from us for today. Amidst it all, try to find some time to hug a loved one (with consent), and love up on your kids.

Take good care, okay?

Tabitha & Adam

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Today is a big day for many of us as we are able to witness inspiring candidates like Zohran Mamdani, Noha Sadany and a few others who both inspire us and give us hope for the future.

Voting is a necessary tool to push for the kind of change we want to see in this country. It’s a chance to vote for the values we hold dear and to flex our political power as it pertains to the types of policies we want enacted to protect ourselves and our families.

And, as with everything else, we want to find ways to make voting applicable to our kiddos. So below, you can find a few books that can teach kids about voting from Tabitha’s TikTok.

When you’re using books to engage kids on big topics, remember these pointers for REAL conversations with kids.

REAL Conversations

1. Read slowly.

Read a page, pause, and let them take in the pictures at their pace.

2. Explain in short sentences.

Keep sentences short. Keep words simple. Keep concise.

3. Ask open-ended questions.

Some examples of questions can be, “What do you think about this?”, “What do you see here?”, “How do you think this person feels?”

4. Leave space for their questions.

Always give them time to ask about anything they don’t understand AND, it’s okay if you don’t know the answer. Go do research together.

If you’re voting today, in our experience, those little “I Voted!” stickers can be quite magical for little ones and can also be a way to help them feel included from super young in the voting process.

For us adults, MomsRising provides lots of info about voting as well as a list of fun activities to involve kiddos in the action.

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That’s it from us for today. Stay safe. Go vote if you can. Hug your kids (with their consent). We’re supporting you every step of the way.

Tabitha & Adam

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Yesterday, I saw this unfolding on the news as I hustled the kids home from steelpan practice and into the bath (yes, the younger one still fights bath-time every night like clockwork and then refuses to get out of said bath). I started to think about all the big untruths about immigration that are fed to us—and our children—with the hope of making us see stark differences between the people getting kidnapped off the streets and ourselves.

What can we, as parents, do to interrupt these harmful narratives aimed at dividing our communities and our children? Here are 6 bold lies it seems this administration would love for our kids to believe about immigration to further their xenophobic agenda—and conversation starters to support parents in helping kids process what is happening.

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LIE #1: Borders are natural.

Borders were built to divide us and make us think we have less in common with people from other countries, entrenching inequitable hierarchies of power, positionality and privilege. These borders are often the result of colonization and land theft, defined by people whose agendas did not involve co-existing peacefully with others.

Conversation Starter: Borders are manmade and they are often made up by those with more power than others. Let’s get creative! What would you do instead of creating borders?

LIE #2: If immigrants just work hard, everything will be fine.

I came to New York as a Trinbagonian in 2002. I arrived on a student visa. I followed the rules. But even after doing everything expected of me, the obstacles were many. Because of my student visa, I could not legally work, so I depended on my extended family’s generosity. Even with limited money, they still managed to give both my sister and I small allowances that would cover our metrocards, food, books and other things we needed. I was a single teenager in NYC with a stable roof over my head and food on the table because of my family. I cannot imagine the experiences of adults with families to take care of who must maneuver all the cultural, financial and systemic challenges as an immigrant. We followed all the rules and yet it was hard. Today, in front of our eyes, immigrants attempting to follow the rules, who work hard are being arrested and dragged off to detention centers.

Conversation Starter: Change is hard no matter if you follow the rules. And sometimes, the rules are often set up to make things harder. What are some rules that exist that make things harder? How would you change them?

LIE #3: Undocumented immigrants are not good people.

Moving to another country for a better life should be an option afforded to everyone. Because it isn’t, many people are forced to make impossible decisions to keep themselves and their families safe and away from harmful elements. It’s also important to note that labeling undocumented immigrants as “bad people” while this administration (and colonization, neo-liberalism and over-militarization) continues to fuel and finance so much damage worldwide is ironic at best.

Conversation Starter: People should have the right to be safe and to live wherever they would like. Immigration systems make it very hard to move and some people make tough choices to keep themselves and their families safe.

LIE #4: Immigration is easy if you do what they say.

When NYC Comptroller Brad Lander was arrested earlier this year, he was escorting immigrants to their immigration appointments. Many immigrants who are following the process and showing up for their appointments dutifully are being arrested and sent to other countries. The issue is not immigrants. It is the system that responds to those looking to migrate, with limited resources and punitive punishments. Many are following the rules and attempting to have faith in these flawed systems that are failing them.

Conversation Starter: Some people are following the rules and still being hurt. They’re trying to follow the rules. They’re trying to follow the process. And they’re still getting hurt. What rules do you think would make things more fair for immigrants?

LIE #5: They are only targeting immigrants who are criminals.

ICE has been given permission to go into schools to detain children. In Chicago, earlier this month, they zip-tied children to each other after raiding their apartment building and detained them in a van. Children who should be safely buckled into car seats. Children who deserve the assumption of innocence. Children who will be traumatized for the rest of their lives because of these actions. Though they claim to only be detaining criminals, that’s far from reality. As of July 2025, 72% of the people detained by ICE had no criminal convictions. (And some of them are actually American citizens!)

Conversation Starter: ICE is unfortunately not being safe right now. They are hurting people who simply want to live their lives safely in this country.

LIE #6: Kidnapping immigrants off the streets will make us safer.

The absurdity of this administration is never more apparent than in their claim that snatching people off the streets across the country will make the rest of the country safer. This reasoning is meant to make us think that we have more in common with those in power than we do with our immigrant neighbors. This simply isn’t true. As a community, it’s within our power to protect each other and to continue, despite their efforts, to see each other’s humanity. Hundreds of masked ICE agents storming our streets will not make any of us safe and it’s on us to refuse that narrative.

Conversation Starter: ICE does not make us safe. Let’s talk about some things that actually make us safe. (Leave space for your children to answer what they think makes them safe. Some examples are community, loving each other and protecting each other).

In the midst of these awfully treacherous times, parents continue the daunting task of protecting our little ones while teaching them how to be upstanders. ICE and immigration may seem like big topics to explain to our kids, but it remains necessary—even as these unjust elements invade our children’s safe spaces. Our kids are hearing about this whether we bring it up with them or not, whether by witnessing something firsthand or by overhearing an older kid or by seeing something on social media. As an immigrant mama, I have no choice but to talk with my kids in age-appropriate ways about the realities of immigration and ICE. All parents can have these conversations in ways that can help our kids feel more empowered and more clear on what your family values are.

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That’s it from me for today. Take good care and look out for each other, okay?

Tabitha

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Imagine our surprise when one of our kids misidentified their racial identity at age 2.

Tabitha here: As an activist, I was shocked. Didn’t this kid know their mama was a proud Black immigrant woman and did they not absorb these lessons on identity simply by being around me?

The answer was a resounding NO 😑

Adam here: As parents, it’s imperative that we put intention, purpose and action behind raising kids with a strong sense of self so that they feel belonging AND are able to support others in nurturing a sense of belonging. We learned real quick that it wasn’t enough to just talk AROUND our kids about these values and practices. We had to make the lessons age-appropriate and kid-appropriate.

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We asked ourselves big questions like:

What does a sense of belonging look like for young kids?

How can parents nurture belonging and a strong sense of self for young children?

What are some practical ways to raise kids that help create a sense of belonging for other kids?

• If you’ve ever wondered about the answers to these questions….

• If you have a baby and you feel maybe a tad under-prepared to do this work….

• If your little kid is already making observations and you’re at a loss as to what to do….

Then this is for you.

We’re partnering with Vivvi to host a webinar: Exploring Identity and Belonging With Young Children on October 8th at 12pm ET.

Click here to register

✅ Get your questions answered.

✅ Get actionable guidance on raising kids who feel and create belonging.

✅ Get a list of our favorite books that teach and nurture belonging.

✅ Hear Tabitha share some of our parenting fails & how our kids correct us 😆

Click here to register

Be sure to sign up, even if you aren’t able to attend but still want the materials. Vivvi will send the recording out soon after.

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That’s all from us for today. Stay grounded and keep at it, okay? We got this.

Tabitha & Adam

p.s. Raising Antiracist Kids is #13 Rising in Parenting on Substack! If you know of a parent/caregiver/grandparent/educator who is already focused on antiracism and searching for HOW to infuse it with little children, gift them a subscription, paid or free. We’d be happy to have them join our community.

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Book bans are attempts to dictate and limit what our kids are reading. Many times, the books that are banned reflect the experiences of people who belong to marginalized communities, like queer people and Black people. We’ve also witnessed bans against books about accurate history.

Reading banned books can be life-affirming for some kids who may feel isolated in their everyday lives because of their identity. It can show them existence and resilience and this can be empowering as they maneuver life.

But us parents are our kiddos’ first teachers, right? So when we see clear attempts to limit free speech, we can fight back. We have the power to teach our children about censorship and their right to be free to read books that reflect a diversity of experiences.

Banned Books Week 2025 (October 5-11) is right around the corner and if you’ve ever been wanting a toolkit to talk with your kids about ​​fairness, belonging, and book bans, we have good news for you.

The Brooklyn Public Library recently released just the most incredible set of resources for you and your kiddos called the Freedom to Read Toolkit for Children and Families. This toolkit was developed in partnership with Pat Scales, Unite Against Book Bans, BPL’s Books Unbanned team, and the National Coalition Against Censorship.

The Freedom to Read Toolkit for Children and Families is 10 pages of activities and guidance for families with kids ages 2-8 meant to spark age-appropriate convos about intellectual freedom, book bans and the importance of diverse stories. It includes booklists, actionable advocacy ideas and activities for you and your little ones to dig into to spark some conversations.

How can you get a copy?

If you live in Brooklyn, NY, drop by a local library and pick up a hard copy of this toolkit during Banned Books Week (October 5-11). Check out the online version here. Be sure to visit BPL’s programming for you and your children for Banned Books Week.

We’re also super excited to share a few pages with you. These are printable PDFs so feel free to download and print for your family. Be sure to access additional resources through the QR codes.

And last but not least, because you know we like to leave you with some actionable guidance, us parents and caregivers can help our kiddos fight for their freedom to read with the following activities.

Get the full toolkit here!

Banning books, preventing our children from reading books that reflect a diversity of experiences is another step towards an inequitable and unjust society. Fighting book bans can be a family activity. We encourage you to prioritize these books all year long, and especially so during Banned Books Week.

Together, we’re building a world where our kids, no matter their identity, can find themselves in the books they read, sending a clear message to all children that they belong, they are loved and they matter.

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Enjoy the rest of your week, okay? Try to find bits of joy and hold on to it. Parenting is hard. We get it….but we’re in this together.

Take care,

Tabitha & Adam

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During my graduate studies at Boston University, I got the chance to delve really deep into antiracist parenting. I studied the 6 Building Blocks of Antiracist Parenting, a framework that Adam and I developed to support parents who aim to raise antiracist kids.

In my work, I came across a study by Sarah A. Matlock and Robin DiAngelo that struck me as so helpful and necessary for white parents on this antiracist journey. Though this study was done in 2015, it’s still relevant to this day.

The name of the study is “We Put It In Terms of Not-Nice: White Antiracists and Parenting”. The study’s goal was to examine how white parents who identify as antiracist infuse antiracism into their lives and the lives of their families.

The findings may (or may not) surprise you.

Now, if you have ever dabbled with academia, you know that the published studies are written in a style that isn’t always the easiest to absorb. So as part of my work at BU, I broke the findings of this study into bite size learnings that I’m excited to finally share with you. I also share some tips on possible next steps for white parents at the end.

Thank you so much to Sarah A. Matlock for working with me on accuracy.

The above is pretty clear, right? Intention isn’t the same as action. And infusing antiracism into parenting takes lots of work, consistency and creativity. And, though we are all exhausted from parenting under capitalism, fascism and more, you’re here and reading this. You know we all have some learning to do (yup, even me). Below is just one actionable and simple (ish) habit you can develop when communicating with your child about race and antiracism.

It starts with communication. It begins with keeping those lines open so that when kids need to talk to us, we know HOW to.

If you’re a white parent, today’s email isn’t meant to discourage you. It’s meant to reinvigorate you. Even if it makes you a bit pissed off, I hope that drives you to want to shift things in your home. We, the parents, are our child’s first teachers and boy, does that come with a lot of power and pressure. But together, in this community we’re building on Substack, we can hold each other (virtually) and support each other and keep each other accountable in this work. You got this. I know it may not feel like it all the time. But you’re here and you’re trying and that counts for a lot.

If you’re white, take a moment to reflect and see if any of the findings apply to your lived experience. Leave a comment and let me know how this landed for you.

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That’s it from me for today. Take good care, okay? And remember, we’re in this together.

Tabitha

We’re here to tell you that whatever you are feeling in this moment is a-ok. Sit with it, examine it and let it move through you at the pace it wants to. These are scary times we are living in with our families.

Though so much is dark at this moment, we do come to you with a bit of hope and maybe a dash or two of joy with our kiddos.

Antiracist Family Day

If you live in NYC, we’re joining the Brooklyn Public Library on Oct 9th 2-5pm for Antiracist Family Day, a FREE fun afternoon centering justice, joy and art at the Brooklyn Children’s Museum.

There’ll be story-time, book giveaways, arts and activities, music performances and more. We will lead an art build, where kids and adults get to make posters and signs about fairness, equity, antiracism, and building a world where everyone can be free. Families will get to practice age-appropriate antiracist strategies and explore simple ways kids and families can make a positive difference in their communities.

RSVP HERE

When we talk about the 6 Building Blocks of Antiracist Parenting^TM , we often stress the importance of “Intentional Environment”. Seeking out community activities that center antiracism, whether it be IRL (in real life) or online, is a major part of bringing lessons on antiracism to life for our little ones. So don’t miss this delightful day that we always look forward to every year!

We’ll also have a few of the 6 Building Blocks of Antiracist Parenting^TM fridge magnets to give away to the first 40 people who visit our art build so come early!

Marketing to Men Summit

Tabitha here: I’ll be speaking about a topic really dear to me as a person who tries to strive for antiracist parenting AND who’s raising a young boy with values of healthy masculinity. I’ll be at the inaugural Marketing to Men Summit on 9/16 at 11am. The in-person seats are limited but you can register to join virtually for free here.

RSVP TO JOIN US ONLINE

That’s it from us for today. Take good care, okay? Love up on your kids.

Tabitha & Adam

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Andrews Lefkowits and Dr. Val Brown are the co-hosts of the Integrated Schools Podcast, an award-winning podcast which is a part of their work to prepare families with racial or economic privilege to commit to integrating their children, driving new narratives about education, and advocating for justice in our public schools. Integrated Schools now has 43 local chapters around the country and their podcast won a Signal Award and was nominated for 2 Ambies.

Take a listen to the podcast episode here and above.

We referenced the following Integrated Schools Podcast episodes in our conversation:

Gratitude and Validation: One Family's Journey Through Integrated Schools

What Was Lost: Noliwe Rooks on The Failures of Integration

And be sure to dive into their other content for more deeply enriching and just incredible conversations that will shift the way we think about equity and schooling.

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As always, take good care of yourselves and your little ones. Try to get some fresh air this weekend, okay?

Tabitha & Adam

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