Parenting under fascism requires a myriad of tools under our belts and micro-resistance is but one of them. We’re going to talk about some ways we can normalize micro-resistance with our kids and provide you with some actionable guidance and conversation helpers to get started.

Over the last year, many corporations, institutions and high profile figures have committed the #1 no-no as it pertains to living under a fascist regime.

They’ve obeyed in advance.

From donations to the inauguration, rollbacks on DEI at over 400 campuses across the country, and meetings at the White House to performing at MAGA events, it’s been disappointing to see some of our faves seek to protect their privilege and positionality, throwing the betterment of our country and our children to the wind.

In response to this, many of us have used boycotting as a tool of resistance. Whether it’s as part of a boycott campaign, like Target or Disney, or simply a re-prioritization of our dollars towards companies that align with our values, boycotting is a critical and important micro-resistance tool that each of us have the power to utilize in this fight against fascism globally.

It’s also a really impactful practice for kids to learn as they start to realize the power of money.

This got us thinking about other forms of micro-resistance that families with kids can do to fight oppression. We want to reiterate, though, that these do not replace the need to be visibly resistant and to use our position and privilege to fight back. BUT for some families in our community, visible resistance isn’t an option, like families with immigrants of mixed statuses. Micro-resistance plays an important role in teaching our kids about our responsibility as changemakers during a time of fascism AND can also contribute to the growing pushback against this regime.

It must be said, though, that families with privilege should push themselves to the limits of that privilege especially because others without privilege cannot.

What is Micro-Resistance?

Micro-resistance is a practice that has been studied since 1985 though it’s been in existence for far longer. It is defined as small acts that people or businesses take that may be visible or private with the goal of resisting oppression and injustice. These small acts can contribute in major ways and can be accessible for families, especially those with young kids. Micro-resistance shouldn’t take away the need for bold and brave action in the face of injustice and fascism but these small acts can be revolutionary and can contribute to the snowball of resistance.

Here are some forms of micro-resistance that are accessible to families with kids, actions for each and a short conversation helper to start discussing these with your kids:

Boycotts

Many families can choose to stop shopping at big brands that are complicit or directly support this administration. Some examples of these brands are Meta, Amazon, Target, and McDonalds (McDonalds also faces boycotts for their complicity in the genocide in Gaza).

Action- Shop at small businesses wherever possible. Plan ahead to decrease the need to resort to the most convenient options when in a rush.

Conversation Helper- “As a family, we use our money to shop at places that care for everyone and that try to do as little harm as possible. This business is not one of them. They (give a concrete example of what the business is doing to cause harm). Let’s do some research together to find another place to shop.”

Sharing Factual Information

In this current age of rampant disinformation, sharing accurate information can be instrumental in correcting narratives. This is especially necessary for older relatives who may not be as tech-savvy and may be susceptible to deliberate disinformation attempts. It can also be helpful for young men who may be particularly vulnerable to creeping misogyny online.

Action-This can look like sending fact-based news articles. For teens, it can look like texting fact-based social media links to perspectives that center healthy masculinity, justice and equity. Check back to see what 3 things they found most interesting in the article to spark a discussion.

Conversation Helper- “It’s important for us to share information that is true. Let’s research that thing Grandma told us about yesterday and send her the information we find. I can do the reading and you can press the laptop buttons (older kids can read on their own).”

Using Art to Resist

Creating art as a family can be a powerful way to help open discussions about resisting fascism. AND educating our kids about fighting fascism is not a micro-resistance. That’s big-time resistance.

Action- Set aside some time weekly (maybe on the weekend if weekdays are too wild) to create protest art together. Use this opportunity to talk with kids about what’s happening in the world, what us families can do about it and the world we want to build together. Display the art in their room and/or in shared living spaces or a window. These can even be conversation starters for guests to your home.

Conversation Helper- “Let’s get out our art supplies and make some art to express how we feel. This week, I saw that X happened (focus on one issue). Why do you think that is unfair? Let’s draw what you think can be done about it and let’s think about where we can hang it up.”

Language As Resistance

We’ve witnessed increased attacks on trans people and queer people, both from this administration, online and in society. Raising children who respect and honor everyone for who they are can include starting with inclusive language in everyday life.

Action- Incorporate inclusive language in play. If your kiddo loves dolls or figurines, include gender neutral pronouns and identities. Normalize asking what their pronouns are, even in play. In everyday life, veer away from assuming people’s gender based on how they look.

Conversation Helper- “I love your doll’s dress! What is their favorite color?” or “That person’s car is a lovely shade of yellow. I wonder if yellow is their favorite color” or “I didn’t notice your new figurine. What’s their pronouns?”

Advocate To Lawmakers

Even though it might seem futile at this moment in history, lawmakers can shift their policy stances based on what they hear from their constituents. It may seem like a small thing to call or write to lawmakers but every call or letter can add to the growing voices of resistance.

Action- Use tools like 5 Calls or Common Cause to advocate to one’s local representatives.

Conversation Helper- “Lawmakers make the rules that can either help us or harm us and our community. Let’s write a letter to them to let them know what we believe in and that they need to think about this when they are making the rules.”

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Okay, so it could be argued that all of these are not actually tiny acts at all 🙂They can have tremendous impact for sure.

But!

More importantly, they can help us and our kids normalize and habitualize resistance towards injustice and fascism. When these small acts are normalized in the home, our kids grow up knowing that resistance is actionable and should be a part of their daily lives. Each small act may seem tiny to us but they can contribute to building a louder megaphone that can’t be ignored.

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That’s it from us for today. Try to get some fresh air today, okay? Do one small thing that brings you joy and tell us about it.

Sending our best,

Tabitha & Adam

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We’re in a period where the intention is to shock us into inaction. The people running this regime are trying to bully us into being overwhelmed, stressed out and exhausted.

What they’re underestimating, though, is that us parents and caregivers live our entire lives in a state of exhaustion simply because we are parenting through capitalism, racism, imperialist governments, etc and many of us manage to keep fighting for our children through it all.

But is this state of existence ideal for us, our children and our mental health? Not at all. So we’re learning how to manage through it in ways that can leave us feeling whole and cared for. The goal isn’t just to survive. It’s not to come out on the other end with our kids trailing behind us barely holding on.

We want to thrive.

Because that’s how we keep our joy-when we continue to center our children, the love we share, our compassion and our humanity.

A few weeks ago, our friend and seasoned organizer Justin Ruben, shared a powerful tool called 6 Rules For Defeating a Shock-And-Awe Strategy: Stay S.T.R.O.N.G. We read it. We read it again. And we’ve kept reading it over and over every time this fascist regime feels like too much. Many of you were unable to access the document when we shared it so, on a particularly long plane ride from California (during which Tabitha sat next to a woman who was reading Elon Musk’s mother’s book and kept gushing about what an amazing job she did with her kids. That’s a story for another time), she adapted the Google doc into the below easy-to-read guide.

As we mentioned, this was originally designed by Justin for organizers. Justin is also a parent and has decades of organizing experience so it’s very much applicable for us people who parent. We have found these groundings to be integral to our parenting practice not just now but for the foreseeable future.

For some of our kids, they’re living under a second Trump administration and that can be scary and tough to comprehend. For our kiddos, we particularly think about two points that are most relevant to parenting in this moment:

1. Momentum can change quickly.

2. We don’t actually know what’s going to happen (even if it feels like we do).

Don’t be afraid to have frank conversations with your older kids about how to thrive during these tumultuous times, and to balance optimism with reality. They need guidance and support in this moment, just as much as we do.

TO DO

Tabitha here: If you’re wondering what us organizers are up to right now, we’re organizing the Unite & Resist National Day of Action on International Women’s Day on March 8. There are over 200 events happening across the country. Find one (or host one!) and receive an incredible toolkit with ways to sustain action in your community. Show up, take up space, demonstrate the breadth of the resistance and let this regime know we’re only getting started.

TO READ

Adam here: For those of us with kids in schools, as much as possible, we need to work with our schools to ensure that they feel protected and emboldened to keep our kids and families safe. This article in Education Week shares how challenging it is to be in schools right now, and we know that this chaos is impacting teachers, administrators, and students.

That’s it from us for today. Next time, expect some 2025 kids books about identity, antiracism and belonging that we’re a wee bit obsessed with right now, some more guidance in this series on parenting under fascism from us and our friends and so much more.

Try to take a break from screens for even 10 mins today, okay? If your kids are cuddlers (ours totally are), relish that comforting time with them just a bit more. Hold on to connection. Take action. Find joy.

xo

Tabitha & Adam

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If this is the first email you’re receiving from us, welcome and thank you for being here.

Last week, we shared PART 1 in our series on parenting under fascism. Many of you responded that it helped so much to hear that you’re not alone. We’re glad to know that together, we can keep this slice of the internet centered around justice, equity, and joy for all.

This moment in history calls for a reminder of why we’re here.

• We’re here because we love our kids AND we love ALL kids.

• We want to help raise bold changemakers, unafraid of fusing antiracism and justice in their lives now and for the future.

• We’re here because we’re building a future different from this one and we know that parenting is one of the starting points for just that.

• We’re here because ALL children deserve safety, joy, education and love, including transgender children, immigrant children and undocumented children.

Yesterday, they signed an executive order attempting to ban transgender women and girls from playing on women’s and girls’ teams. Just last week, this administration signed an executive order concerning teaching Critical Race Theory in K-12 schools (newsflash: when last we checked, no K-12 school is teaching CRT. It is done on a collegiate and postgraduate level–have you ever tried to talk to a 5-year-old about systemic inequities through a legal and political framework?). Interpretation of this Executive Order is unclear but we know that they have used CRT as a catch-all for any antiracist or equity-centered education. Antiracism and equity-centered education should be taught to children of any age. The need for children to learn about themselves in relation to their race, ethnicity, privilege and power is still very urgent. They can attempt to undercut these conversations in schools, but they cannot undo children’s inquisitive nature and their ability to observe unequal treatment in the world around them. They cannot stop us parents from raising antiracist children who are critical thinkers and world changers. (To learn more about the weaponization of “CRT” and what parents can do about it, read this article Tabitha wrote in 2021).

We can’t parent in a bubble. Our kids are existing under the reality of a fascist regime.

So, amid the chaos and uncertainty, how can we stay grounded in our power and values? How do we adjust our parenting to meet the demands of the moment and continue to raise them right?

There is no step-by-step, one-size-fits-all solution, but we offer to you 6 lessons that are grounding us in this moment.

1. Apolitical parenting is out. Radical parenting is in.

We have absolutely no judgement to dish out if you’ve kept your kids out of the fray of the last election season. Depending on the age of your kid and their own cognitive and emotional abilities, you may have made the decision to keep them on the sidelines of the political chaos of the past few months. We get it BUT that needs to change and this can be done in a manner that educates and empowers our kids, not scares them. We’re here to tell you that none of us have the privilege of being complacent. We need to educate our children about life under this administration. Many of us will be directly affected by these injustices. Our children are already being affected. This administration has given ICE permission to go into schools. They’re working hard at creating a culture that demonizes diversity, equity and inclusion. They’ve been trying to ban transgender women and girls from playing sports on women’s and girls’ teams. If our kids aren’t directly affected by these atrocities, we’re either raising our children to be allies or to be complicit. That seems extremely binary and few things in life really are. But if the kids of undocumented immigrants and those with temporary status have to be educated about what to do if ICE shows up, then we are teaching our two kids how to react in the same situation, in a way that they can both comprehend and use to take action. If not, their ignorance is a privilege. This administration’s fascism has already emboldened so many to target queer people, to be cruel to trans children who simply want to live their lives in peace. How will our kids react in these situations? It’s important to equip our kids with the tools they need. Find an approach that best suits your child’s cognitive and emotional development and approach it with grace, love and maybe a dash of joy (we will continue to share ideas on HOW to do this later on in this series).

2. Antiracist parenting starts with us.

If you’re bristling at the very idea that our children can be targeted in their schools and homes and that our families might need to unite against injustice, it might be time for you to also delve a little deeper into your learning. Again, we have absolutely no judgement for the practices parents need to employ to safeguard our mental health. The last thing Adam and I want to do after wrestling two kids into pajamas and into bed is to sit with more awful news for the night. Some people who are reading this may view these new laws and policies as simply depressing. Others are finding them extremely terrifying. Others are being driven to change their lives and their children’s daily lives to try to keep safe. If this is the reality for some, it must be considered by all. It is no longer okay to stay misinformed or uninformed. Getting one’s news on social media alone is not the pathway under a fascist regime where the owners of these platforms are in Trump’s inner circle. It’s time to get discerning and intentional in our parenting if we are to come out on the other side of this. Find news sources you can rely on for facts (our imperfect go-tos are NPR and Democracy Now). Fact-check everything (recognizing that the executive orders and attacks on our communities are moving so fast even fact-checking is imperfect). Be mindful of where you put your energies online and offline. They want us worn out and in distress. Resist the urge to respond to everything, but be prepared to respond to some things.

3. Now is a good time to teach kids how to object.

This one is especially hard for us parents because many of our kids go to schools where order and discipline reign supreme. If they don’t do their homework a certain number of times, they get detention. If they come late too many times, a letter gets sent home. Our kids may be part of systems that require them to obey (we’ll unpack that another time). And, if you’re a parent who needs your kid to stay in said school because of financial reasons or other reasons, that’s a reality. But there is space in the middle where we can teach our kids to be discerning and to trust that little (or BIG!) feeling in their tummies that tells them something ain’t right. This is not as hard as you’d think. Talk to most kindergarteners about school (if they go to one with other kids) and they can tell you who wasn’t being fair and who wasn’t sharing and who wasn’t being kind. Kids know what unfairness looks like. Us parents can teach them what unfairness looks like when it is coming from those in power and, if they have privilege, to speak up or to tell a trusted adult if they can’t speak up.

(side note, we sent a note to our children’s principal and the district superintendent asking for their plan if ICE comes to the school. You can do the same. Let them know that your community is looking out for everyone)

4. Find a political home in your community for you and your kids.

You’re not in this parenting journey alone. You’re not in this fight with just you and your little ones. We’re here with you every step of the way and so are thousands of other parents across the country.A political home can be in-person, but it can also be a digital home. What’s important is to remember that we’re not in this alone, and we can use each other as sounding boards and accountability friends when things get especially tough.

Many people questioned why we were organizing The People’s March after the election had already been decided. “Why didn’t you march before?” they asked (we did!). In the glaring face of injustice and fascism, it is important to be in community. 100,000 people came together in D.C. on January 18 and it felt like family because we were so relieved to see others who had traveled from far and near to make it known that they oppose Trumpism and this administration’s desire to create chaos, hate and divisiveness. It was so necessary to hug people, to hold each other, to feel the presence of others. Over 20 organizations with information tables were present and offered ways to get involved, and not just let people’s activism end on that day.

Whether it be an organization taking action like Women’s March or a community center fighting injustice locally, get tapped in and find your place. Every one of us has one.

5. Find your joy, model it for your kids and infuse it into your home life AND your activism.

All my coping skills, all the things that bring ease to my soul just did not do their magic the week of the inauguration. I spent the entire week dysregulated in my body, exhausted and ill-equipped for every bit of distressing news that dropped.

Don’t be me. Find care practices for yourself and your family that help you deal with the ongoing trauma of this administration. As an immigrant and as a child of immigrants, I found this Emotional Freedom Tapping Technique from Dra. Hernández, a bilingual therapist, to be super helpful.

Plan ahead and seize your joy firmly and unapologetically. The next few years will be relentless. Fascism is designed to thrive within the exhausted inaction of the masses. Don’t let it. Pace yourself and your kids. Care for each other. Schedule in joy for your family. Take time to be off screens and to breathe in fresh air, if that is possible. Joy can be an act of revolution. Claim it while you do the necessary work. Joy and action can co-exist. And again, there are no binaries. Claiming your joy doesn’t mean ignoring reality. It means pacing yourself so you are able to get the energy and fuel you need to be discerning for the fight ahead.

We’ve also been trying to meet the kids where they are. That has meant telling bedtime stories about Hello Kitty and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. working together to desegregate schools. It’s all about connecting and building trust with kids, sprinkling in joy.

6. Take action and not only when injustice reaches your doorstep.

Now, more than ever, find ways to take action. These can be small things like writing a letter to the editor with your kids or it can be bigger like getting a group together to plan a protest. Now is not the moment for apathy or inaction. Yes, we’re scared. Yes, we are living through terrifying times. But it is possible to take action even through the fear. And it’s especially important to do this even when we’re not directly impacted.

I always bristle at the idea that we have to identify with someone in order to advocate for their rights. We fight for justice because everyone deserves the right to be safe, to thrive and to find joy. If you’re privileged enough to not be in the direct line of the current attacks on democracy, find ways to use that privilege to defend and fight for those who are. And don’t do it because you and your kids might be next. Do it because we are building a world of care, compassion and love for ALL.

So…what now?

Here are two pathways to action:

1. The powerful women behind FEMINIST compiled a host of volunteer opportunities according to issue areas in The People’s Toolkit. Get into it, find a political home and get to work.

2. The Immigration Legal Resource Center provides Red Cards that you can print and distribute. These cards share resources on what to do if ICE is encountered. See instructions on how to use them here (in 3 clear graphics).

What We’re Reading:

Our friend and longtime organizer, Justin Ruben, wrote a powerful piece called Six Rules for Defeating a Shock-and-awe Strategy: Stay S.T.R.O.N.G. I literally read this every time I feel myself getting overwhelmed or exhausted. It’s vital reading for all organizers but I also found it useful as a parent trying to figure out what on earth to say to my kids.

It’s about to be a long 4 (plus?) years and it’s going to take everything we have to fight for the country our children deserve. But we’re used to being our children’s advocates. The fight is different but you’ve got it in you. And we will be here cheering us all on.

That’s it from us for today. Take good care of yourself and hug your kids if they’re ok with it. Try to find connection with a trusted person today. Stay safe. We’re in this together.

Tabitha & Adam

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That’s a question our 10-year-old brilliant little darling child threw in the mix this week after hearing another unfiltered rage session from us propelled by living during Trumpism for less than a week.

Here we are raising two children under ANOTHER Trump administration and it’s really icky (icky is our professional term). Don’t get us wrong: the last 4 years with Biden were by no means perfect, and we had to raise our voices to ensure that the Biden/Harris administration was focused on equity and justice for all. This time though, the attacks on immigration, anything related to “DEI”, climate, healthcare, and education have already reached a fever pitch of chaos and hate, and it’s only been a week. It is overwhelming and ugly.

But, we’re parents and caregivers. We aren’t easily discouraged and we’re here to tell you that it is still possible (and essential) to raise antiracist kids during this moment in history. Antiracist Parenting during fascism relies on a few key points:

• Don’t ignore politics–engage your kids in an age appropriate and kid-centric way

• Keep active, engaged and learning on your own

• Find and center joy for you and your children

• Find your community and ways you can develop systems of care

Over the next week, we will be sharing some actionable guidance for antiracist parenting during these times, to be followed by a toolkit for action. For today, we want to send a note about hope and resistance in these times.

Before we go any further we want to thank you all, our readers and listeners for your patience with us in the last month. Not to be too hyperbolic, we have been busy preparing for the next 4 years so we can be guided by community, hope, and action.

Tabitha here: I spent the last 3 months throwing all I have into helping organize the People’s March. For those who don’t know, this was a full circle moment for me as a founding organizer of the Women’s March on Washington in 2017. In many ways, the work this time around felt like a necessary channel for my frustration after a disappointing, complex and imperfect election. In other ways, the experience unearthed intense trauma from living under Trump 1.0 that I didn’t even realize I’d been harboring in my body. So thank you for sticking with us through this.

The march showed that there are still a large number of people resistant to hateful rhetoric and the attempts to undo democracy. 100,000 people showed up to the People’s March with us in Washington D.C. and thousands more around the country (actually, the world!). If you take nothing else away from today’s post, it’s that you’re not alone in desiring to parent children in a country centered on justice, equity and peace.

Adam here: I really appreciate Tabitha and all of the organizers of the People’s March. In 2017, we didn’t know what we were preparing for, we just knew it would be harmful for so many. This winter, as I took on more parenting responsibilities so Tabitha could focus on planning the People’s March, it felt similar to 2017 but it also felt different. We now know how hard the next four years may be, and Trumpism can be emboldened by our complacency and silence. I am driven, in large part, by all of the work Tabitha and others poured (and continue to pour) into fighting for equity and justicefor all. The divisiveness that is literally written into Project 2025 has also brought violence to the forefront. So instead of bringing the kids to Washington D.C., as we usually do, the kids and I went to a local march. We were prepared with snacks and a stroller as usual, but this time we were a bit more vigilant because things are so on edge. The kids were engaged, but also exhausted as they tried to wrestle with the challenges ahead in ways their growing minds will allow. But it was still very important for us to include them in taking action.

Last week, Trump started his second reign of terror, targeting transgender people (kids included), immigrants (in schools, at home, at work, documented and undocumented), Native Americans, Black people through their attacks on civil rights, queer people, and people from other marginalizations. It’s frankly been terrifying, even for those of us who expected all of this. We don’t know about you but we oscillate between being at a loss for words with our kids and struggling to break down what’s happening. How do we explain to our children that being mean is rewarded on a governmental (and worldwide) level? How do we explain that people who hurt others can escape consequences once they’re rich enough (or become president)? How do us parents, who strive to parent through an abolitionist lens, stick to our lesson that no-one is bad, that people just make bad choices based on environment and circumstances?

These are all questions we’re grappling with and know you probably are, too. For now, we wanted to share this note of hope and let you know that you are not alone in your fear, concern, and pain. We are in this together.

Later this week, we are going to share actionable ways to help us families move forward. Until then, we hope you stay grounded, focused, kind and hopeful.

Take good care of yourself and love up on your kiddies, okay? We got this.

Tabitha & Adam

p.s. If you are an immigrant and are looking for trusted guidance on what to do if ICE shows up, The National Immigrant Justice Center provides step-by-step instructions if you are undocumented, have temporary status or are a citizen. For employers, the National Immigration Law Center provides steps to take to protect your employees and yourself.

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