5 Things Anti-racist Parenting Can and Can't Do
Getting clear early on is super helpful
Over the past few weeks, subscribers to the Raising Antiracist Kids newsletter have doubled. So firstly, we want to say a big Thank You for joining us on this journey. We’re Tabitha & Adam, co-parents and co-conspirators who work with schools, libraries, media companies, non-profits and more to support parents in raising antiracist kids. We’re here to offer guidance and support on our shared path of antiracist parenting. We’re here to be in community with you and we hope you know that this is a place of mutual respect around what we all want, which is to raise decent kids who can identify and undo racial injustice both now and as they grow older. It takes work but hey, you’re here so we know you’re down for it.
Okay! The good news first! Antiracist parenting can:
Help you raise compassionate, justice-minded, smart kids who develop a lens on equity that will be instrumental in every area of their lives as kids and as adults. Our son sometimes comes home from school and is able to identify racist things he has heard. In contrast, we also hear from adults, grown folks, who witness racism in front of their very eyes and cannot identify it for what it is. They stumble. They excuse. The more kids are educated on antiracism, the more they take that knowledge and apply it to their lives now and into adulthood.
Lead you to a community of parents, educators and caregivers who actually care about this earth, its inhabitants and our shared future. Folks who want to co-create a world where all our kids are treated with love, respect and kindness. Whether that community is in-person or whether it’s this little space we have here on Substack, we’ve witnessed firsthand that this community can lift us up as we learn and grow from each other.
Help you, the parent, develop an antiracist lens. You’ll be able to identify inequity around you, which is the first step to actually doing something about it. We’ll be really honest with you. It is virtually impossible to go through the process of raising antiracist kids without the journey impacting you as well. For instance, it takes mental work to break down big concepts like white supremacy and fascism to kids and that requires us adults to be clear on what we mean when we use those words. That’s part of the learning for us, too.
Change the expectations you have for your community. You’ll have an eye on the books in your local library and your kid’s class library. This work will support you in having conversations about what diversity really is and why token diversity is actually pretty harmful (more on that in another article). You’ll start to question the equity on your local playground. And, hopefully, you’ll find local organizations to support who already do this work.
Make you less tolerant of injustice because it’s the world our kids are inheriting. You’re probably already marching and writing letters to lawmakers and putting every bit of privilege you have on the line. The more antiracist parenting work you do, the more action-oriented you’ll become when you realize that all of us have a role to play in building the equitable community our kids deserve.
With that being said 🙂
We want to be super honest with you about what antiracist parenting won’t do. Specifically we want to be kindly and ever so gently blunt about the realities of being a part of this community. Antiracist parenting won’t:
Automatically raise antiracist kids. Though we do have a framework of 6 Building Blocks of Antiracist Parenting that we recommend, there is no magic formula or ratio that will pop out antiracist kids. And dare we say that anyone who tells you otherwise is not being truthful. Every kid is different. Every family is different. Every parent is different. We each bring so much into this work. The path to raising antiracist kids is not linear and it takes constant re-evaluation of what’s landing and not landing for each individual child.
Let us off the hook for our own individual antiracist journey. As adults, it’s still on us to look inward to tackle our inner biases and racisms. It’s still on us to work on dismantling racism on interpersonal and systemic levels. And though we’ve heard from so many that antiracist parenting work can be a beginning step for adult newcomers (like grandparents), the work must deepen for us. And that goes for all of us, even those of us who have been doing this work for a long time. There are always biases that need unpacking and areas of sensitivity that need examining.
Leave us comfortable. This work is hard. We’re not even going to sugarcoat it for you. Unpacking one’s privilege is hard. Watching your child face racism is heartbreaking. Hearing your kiddo notice racism for the first time is difficult. What antiracist parenting will do, though, is equip you with the tools to feel more prepared to guide your kids on an antiracist journey with conversation starters, resources, tools and more.
Leave us thinking that learning is the only part of this that is important. Antiracism is action-oriented. Being a continuous student of antiracism is necessary for us adults BUT it’s imperative that those learnings translate into action in one’s community, nationally and/or globally. So find local community, use your voices, privilege and positionality and keep at it constantly.
Keep us in a bubble. Here’s the reality. Everything is related to racism. Yes, we stand by that statement. Racism exists in the healthcare system, in our neighbourhoods, in politics, in sports, in our schools, in our friendships, on the playground…you get the point. If you pay attention to what is happening locally, nationally and globally, it starts to become really obvious the role race and racism play, especially as it intersects with privilege, socio-economics, gender, immigration, and more. Being antiracist, teaching our kids about antiracism means staying abreast to what is happening and seeking out ways to dismantle racist systems on the macro and micro levels. For many of us, our very existence is politicized by those in power so staying in the know remains a matter of survival. And in this moment in history, all of us are in danger because of the fascist in the White House and his enablers.
Antiracist parenting is hard. Parenting under fascism is hard. Parenting kids of color, kids of the global majority is hard. But you’re here with us and having community makes it all a bit easier.
So don’t be shy about commenting, sending us an email about a topic you want to see us write about, or simply sending a note of frustration when the going gets tough. We’re in this with you and please know many other people are, too.
That’s it for us for today. Stay grounded and connect with your kiddo a bit today, okay? See you again, soon.
Tabitha & Adam