Kid Convo Starters: Super Bowl, Bad Bunny, and ICE
Benito Bowl, if you please
Last night, Bad Bunny hosted a bashment and invited the entire world to join. He delivered an outstandingly resonant and timely performance that offered healing to so many of us in ways that are indescribable.
It was brilliant in its use of symbolism and allegory, building off of the storytelling Kendrick Lamar gave us last year. The celebration of culture, the little and big bits of significance (did you catch the ever present kid asleep in a corner of every Caribbean hang out?), the food, the sugarcane fields, the dancing, the many skin tones, the people in the corner braiding hair, the celebration of queerness! All of it was a balm in these truly troublesome times.
There was a football game on the side, too, but Adam can tell you more about that once he is done sulking that Sam Darnold wasn’t leading the Minnesota Vikings. That’s for another time.
This morning, I was watching some clips from Benito’s performance and our 6-year-old daughter walked up and asked me, “What’s that?”
I happened to be watching a clip of Bad Bunny handing a little boy a Grammy award. Whether this scene represented Benito himself as a child or Liam Ramos or the dreams of millions of other immigrant children, centering childhood was profound. So many immigrant children have had their innocence robbed because of ICE’s attacks on our families and this scene almost brought me to tears. Many parents are always trying to find the right balance between being truthful with kids and protecting them. For immigrant children and us immigrant parents, this choice is so much harder. Immigrant families need to have conversations about ICE with kids as a matter of safety and preparedness. And that is heartbreaking.
So I shared some simple words with my young child, some of which I want to share with you, in addition to more pointers on how to chat with kids about this. In our home, we strongly believe in using cultural moments to teach kids about social justice. This is their childhood, their growth, their development and culture happens both as a backdrop to and an influence on that. As always, I struggled internally with how to share honestly with my young daughter without scaring her. I hope my words helped answer her question, educated her a bit and also piqued her curiosity.
CONVERSATIONS WITH KIDS
“This little boy can represent Liam Ramos. Liam and his dad were taken by ICE because of racism against Black and Brown immigrants.”
“He’s back home now because a lot of people used their voices to get loud and say that is not ok.”
“He could also be like other kids who are immigrants, often with brown skin like yours.”
“In this video, Bad Bunny is maybe reminding all kids, especially Black and Brown kids, that even when you’re scared and unsure of what’s going to happen, there are always people who want to help you.”
“There are always people who will love you and celebrate you because you are you.”
CONVERSATION NOTES FOR ADULTS
Here are some notes for you, as the adult, to remember as you use this video and script to open up a conversation with your little one:
Liam and his dad were taken by ICE not because they are immigrants. They were targeted because of systems of xenophobia and racism from those in charge of our country. We should never accept the narrative that who we are is the reason for hate. We should always lay the blame for hate squarely at the feet of those with power, and destructive systems.
These attacks are particularly against Black and Brown immigrants. Though some white immigrants are also being affected, the vast majority of those impacted are Black and Brown. These attacks are steeped in a toxic mix of xenophobia and racism (I simplified it for my daughter but I plan to come back to this conversation with her to delve in deeper).
I reminded my daughter that Liam is home now because I know the next question was going to be if Liam was okay. Do I know if Liam is okay? Though I know he is alive, he will likely be emotionally affected by this experience for a long time. And it’s not over for Liam and his family. Their case is still ongoing and the threat of deportation still lurks for them. As an adult, that breaks me. It also devastates me that lots of children are still being detained by ICE and are not free today.
I tried to help her see that everyday people have power and that using your voice can be powerful, even if you’re a kid. We have been to protests and we follow what is happening in cities like Minneapolis and Chicago, so she has some understanding of people power already.
I know that this topic might be scary for her so I reminded her that feeling scared is understandable. It makes sense to be scared. A lot of us adults are scared.
I added in love. Because ultimately, love centers the work we do and drives us forward in our parenting.
The Super Bowl Halftime show was more than entertainment. It was a bold declaration of the impact of the Caribbean (did you see the Trinbagonian flag??), of immigrants, of children, of culture and of what truly contributes to a great America. And today, we’re basking in the afterglow of that statement.
That’s it from us for today. Stay safe and warm. Love up on your kids and take some time to do something healing for you, too, okay?
Tabitha & Adam