The Do’s and Don’ts of Protesting With Kids: PART 1
Knowing if, when and how to bring along our children is key.
Happy you’re here! Today, we’re launching a series about kids and protests where we’ll talk about fighting fascism through protest—with our kids. We know how important it is to show up, especially now. Today, we took our kids to a Kick Out The Clowns local action because we know that going to protests with our kids is one of the main ways we involve them in our antiracism work. Antiracism requires both proactive learning and community building, as well as resistance when situations and laws are unfair and inequitable.
Our son has been attending protests since he was a toddler and our daughter joined her first protest as a wee thing of 5 months old. Over the years, they’ve attended dozens of local and national protests—from rallies and marches to art builds. We’ve learnt a thing or two along the way and, later in this series, we’re going to share some of our main do’s and don'ts for bringing kids to protests, especially as us parents are seeing weekly and monthly, sometimes daily, protests throughout our country in response to the slew of injustices being brought by this administration.
But first, let’s ground ourselves in some key realities.
Are protests the place to bring children?
We want to reframe this question. Is it about bringing kids to protests or is it about raising kids surrounded by values and practices of justice, equity and community through our words and actions? If your commitment is to surround your kids with these values, then raising them going to protests is but one part of that. Our kids have been attending protests for years so we say YES, kids absolutely should be at some protests. They need to see in real life the impact of people advocating for the rights of all. Participating in protests brings lessons in social justice to life for kids. You can read all the kids books about protests— it’s another thing altogether to watch your children learn a chant and join a crowd of people in solidarity.
Not all protest spaces can be made accessible to kids.
This is a reality based on the nature of protest actions. We’re living under fascist times when protest is becoming more risky. Historically, protest has always been risky, at times leading to great harm for those who put their bodies on the line for freedom for all. (And they did it anyway so you and I can enjoy many of the rights we have today!) When there are safety concerns, as there always will be (and especially so for Black and Brown people), parents need to determine if you can maintain your safety and your kids’ at the same time. Children depend on us parents/caregivers to make that safety assessment for them.
Every protest has the potential to become violent.
From Los Angeles to New York City, protesters have been facing brutal violence from police. Protesting by nature is never guaranteed to be safe. Protest is a resistance to injustice and power and whenever those in power start to feel that stronghold slipping away, they may respond with violence. Even protests that are designed to be non-violent may turn violent because of police and state intervention. This is a reality that all parents/caregivers must reckon with as we think about if, when and how to engage our children in protest actions.
Understand that who gets to protest safely is racialized.
Police have historically treated crowds of Black protesters much worse than crowds of white protesters—Black protesters have, time and time again, been met with tear gas, violence, provocation, and more. Crowds of predominantly white protesters have usually been allowed to protest however they choose. Understandably, Black parents may be more reluctant to take young kids to protests where the unpredictability of policing is a real factor for us. We also know this can be true for other marginalized communities as well, such as anyone who is undocumented. And that reluctance should not be questioned. In fact, this reality should inspire white parents to examine their privilege (and that of their family), and to understand that when assuming their own safety, this is not always true for everyone.
Should protests cater to the needs of kids?
Protests don’t necessarily need to be kid-centric spaces—though we have helped plan some that are, and those absolutely should exist. But we do think we can have more intentionality about including kids in some protests because we want multigenerational protest spaces. We want to include the youngest and we want to include the oldest in our resistance work.
At our synagogue, there is a blanket at the back of the main room where everyone congregates. This blanket is next to a container of “quiet” toys. Almost every Shabbat morning that we are able to attend services, we see a baby with a caregiver or a kid playing quietly in the back. Here’s what that accomplishes:
That kid is absorbing the atmosphere of the services whether they realize it or not.
That child gets the message that they belong in the space and the community.
It allows the parents/caregivers to be a part of the services while watching their kid.
It sends a message to all present that kids belong in the main part of the services.
We say all this to emphasize that not ALL protests are able to cater to the needs of kids (Part 2 in this series will cover more information on types of protests).
And this requires repeating. White parents—because of white dominance, because of them being accustomed to being centered, catered to, and listened to—may struggle in spaces where their children’s needs are de-centered. We can acknowledge that several things can be true: White children (and parents/caregivers) can learn about what it means to decenter their whiteness while maintaining their sense of self AND we can ask for protest spaces to consider multi-generationality for ALL people to feel welcomed at least some of the time.
There are many other ways to engage in social justice movements.
Social justice actions aren’t just limited to protests. And, key: Organizing also doesn’t begin or end at the actual protest. Kids can participate in organizing meetings and sign-making events, go on rides with their parents to pick up supplies for the protest, etc. There are ways to engage kids in protests even without attending that still include them in fighting for the world we want to build.
Protest accessibility can change depending on the age of the kid.
For the Hands Off/People’s Veto Day protest in April that I helped organize, Adam kept our kids at the edge of the crowd. He took them to the Women’s March sign-making table and helped them think through WHY they were protesting so they could decide what to put on their signs. Later, I took our son into the crowd with me. He is 10 and has been going to protests for most of his life, so he knows a thing or two about situational awareness. I held his hand (he only grumbled a tiny bit about this) or I kept my eyes on him. Together, we got water bottles from backstage to hand out to seniors and folks in the ADA section. Then, we stood in the crowd (my arms around his shoulders so I could keep physical tabs on him) and together we heard a speaker share about being young and trans. My son actually really listened to the speeches because his developmental ability allows for that. My 5-year-old, on the other hand? She stayed with Adam at the edge of the crowd the entire time—she needed space to run around and that simply wasn’t safe or realistic in the midst of the crowd. Both approaches are okay.
Protest accessibility for your kids should depend on your ability to keep them safe.
Some practical things to consider in this regard:
Find a map of the action site. Reach out to organizers ahead of time if one is not available publicly (we talk about how to contact organizers in Part 2 of this series).
Identify a few exit routes for you and your kids.
Reach out to other friends with kids and get a group together to attend.
If your kids are young, you might want to find space at the edge of the crowd with them, as we’ve said before.
Bring enough snacks, water, etc., so you can stay in one spot, but also be prepared to be mobile, if safety demands it.
Write your name and phone number on the inside of their arm, just in case you get separated.
Many parents have been involving our kids in social justice actions for a long time. Learn from those who already do it.
We don’t have to reinvent the wheel. If you don’t know how to do this and want to see it in action, tap into local communities of parents who organize and follow their lead.
Lots of things to consider, right? As parents who strive to raise antiracist kids, it’s important for us to not only center their safety but also the lessons they are learning from both their own experiences and watching us maneuver the world.
That’s it from us for today. We’ll soon be releasing Part 2 in this series where we dive into a few different types of protests and what they can look like for families. Until then, connect with someone in an intentional way, ok? Ask a friend to join you for coffee or tea or water. Human connection and community are key in these times. Take good care of each other.
Tabitha