The Dos and Dont's of Talking With Kids About Colonization
Kids deserve the truth and not white-washed history
This week, in the United States, many people will be taking a break from work and school to cook a big meal and spend time with loved ones for what some refer to as Thanksgiving. We’d like to share with you some do’s and dont’s that focus on discussing the truth about this holiday with our kids through a lens that centers justice and accuracy.
Tabitha: We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving in Trinidad & Tobago so, when I first came to this country, I would often spend time with friends on the holiday, while most of my family worked.
Adam: For as long as I can remember, this holiday has been a big opportunity for my family to get together from afar, break bread and spend quality time with each other. Looking back, though, the holiday has also played a role in assimilation in America. While our other family get-togethers are centered around Jewish holidays, where we were not part of the dominant culture, Thanksgiving meant doing the same things as our mostly Christian neighbors.
Us parents know that when you have kids of your own, the importance of honoring holidays becomes even more crucial as these can be opportunities to make memories with loved ones. But amidst all these feel-good vibes, there exists a reality, a history that has been white-washed and reimagined over time. The origins of this holiday didn’t involve just peace and gratitude, as our children are often taught. It is actually part of a larger history of colonization, land theft and deceit. Here are some ways we can chat with kids about this reality…and some things we should avoid.
WHAT TO DO
Use Accurate Terms
COLONIZE-”To colonize means to steal land and things that belong to other people and to claim that land and those things as your own. How would you feel if someone took your home and said it was theirs?”
INDIGENOUS PEOPLE-”Indigenous people are the first people who lived on the land we exist on. The colonizers claimed that the land they stole was empty but it wasn’t. Indigenous people lived on this land for a long time before and still do. We currently live on the land of the {Munsee Lenape} people (look up the land you occupy here).”
INDIGENEITY-”Indigenous people and culture isn’t some stuff far off in the past. Indigenous people live in this country right now and their culture remains vibrant and strong even though colonizers have tried to get rid of it.”
NATIONAL DAY OF MOURNING-”Indigenous communities recognize the 4th Thursday of November as a National Day of Mourning because it marks the colonization of their land and people in the United States.”
GENOCIDE-”Genocide is when some people destroy another group of people on purpose because of who they are, where they’re from, their race or their religion. It’s even possible for a group of people who were once victims to become the aggressors. The pilgrims, who were hurt by people in Europe, came here and committed genocide against Indigenous peoples.”
THANKSGIVING-”Though some people use Thanksgiving to spend time with family and friends and to reflect on gratitude, it’s important for us to know the correct history of this holiday. The “traditional” story shares a faulty view of one meal in a history of colonizers stealing land, committing genocide and even more harm for Indigenous people. In fact, many U.S. presidents have used this myth to push political ideas.”
Incorporate the Conversation Into Your Day
While you’re traveling or cooking or getting ready, bring up the convo with your kids. Make it a part of your day as opposed to a sidelined conversation. Be sure to pick a time when you and your kids are connecting so that you have their attention.
Use Kid-Appropriate Resources
Read: Indigenous Books by Indigenous authors. For middle school/older grades, Madison Public Schools has this list of books.“
Get involved: Cultural Survival “advocates for Indigenous Peoples’ rights and supports Indigenous communities’ self-determination, cultures and political resilience since 1972”. They provide a list of resources for relearning Thanksgiving and honoring Native peoples. Set up a monthly donation and reach out to them to see how you and your kids can support their work further.
Read: Raising Kids Who Decenter Colonization by Little Justice Leaders
Watch: This video based on an interview with Crystal Echo Hawk about how to talk to kids about Thanksgiving.
WHAT NOT TO DO
Avoid Saying These Things:
“It’s complicated”-Many children can clearly identify when they are being hurt and they witness unfairness and injustice. Often, people use the word “complicated” when they don’t want to engage deeply around a topic that can lead to discomfort for those with privilege.
“Some people don’t celebrate Thanksgiving”-The colonization of Indigenous communities is a travesty all of us should be educated about and take action on as we aim to raise children centered on justice and equity.
“Well, we choose to honor Thanksgiving by focusing on gratitude”. The reimagining of Thanksgiving is part of the white-washing of history that is so thorough in American culture. Gratitude is a great trait for families to focus on daily. We can get together with family and friends because many people are off school and work. We can have a yummy meal when we commune with loved ones. We can do these things while centering the truth.
Don’t be afraid to use these pointers around others.
Model for your kids that discussions about accurate history belong everywhere, not just sidelined to private conversations. This conversation may not be welcomed everywhere, especially in white-dominant spaces. But it’s so necessary to show our kids that being unapologetic about truth and justice in all spaces is a part of building communities where all of us are safe.
Don’t frame Indigenous culture and peoples as in the past.
As mentioned previously, Indigenous peoples are alive today and justice is still yet to be served for the genocide of their peoples and the continued invisibilization of their culture.
Don’t limit the conversation to only this week.
Keep the unlearning and learning going and make it consistent all year round.
It’s totally possible to spend time with loved ones while centering accurate history and resisting the urge to gloss over it because it ruins the vibe. We can raise a generation of children grounded in truth, history and power.
That’s it from us for today. Amidst it all, try to find some time to hug a loved one (with consent), and love up on your kids.
Take good care, okay?
Tabitha & Adam