When "Monkey" Is A Racist Insult: A Kids Conversation Guide For Parents & Educators
Back-to-school guidance for us all
It’s back-to-school season (or almost!) for many kids, educators and families. Amidst a summer chock-full of attacks on our rights by a fascist regime, us parents are still trying to tease out some fun for our kiddos (or at least we hope so!). Whether your summer was filled with camp, exciting travel adventures, trying to work with kids bouncing off the walls at home or leisurely warmer days with kids who read a lot, we have a reflection to share as we prepare for school.
We live in societies where the undercurrents (and huge waves) of racism are evident throughout. People, including educators and parents, still use language and sing songs with children that are majorly racist. The School Library Journal stresses that many folks don’t even know which nursery rhymes are racist and why. Because of Trump’s negative stance on commonsense DEI initiatives, many schools now shy away from teaching kids and educators about the realities of these racist elements, for fear of getting their funding pulled. This leaves us all less informed and less equipped to combat racism with our children.
When our kids are in school, they may hear or say things that might actually be a reflection of this societal racist undercurrent, or they can simply be shared from another child’s curiosity.
The intent does not change the impact, though.
Wherever and however it arises, we can only address racism at home and in the classroom if we recognize why it is problematic and take steps to repair the harm when it happens.
That’s where we come in 🙂
We’re going to wade right into the muck. We’re discussing some racist things that pop up in classrooms and on playgrounds, along with how you, the parent or educator, can address it head-on with facts.
Today, let’s delve into the racist practice of calling Black kids “monkey”.
Some time ago, our kid was receiving swimming lessons. Her teacher, a lovely young woman who is not a native English speaker, noticed her trying to climb out of the pool, legs and arms first. She started to laugh and playfully called her a monkey.
Her intent was not to be racist but the impact definitely was. We have long talked with our kids about why this word is a problem, and our daughter was unsure of how to respond.
Here’s why this is racist:
Tabitha here: Black people have long faced attempts to dehumanize us (read a short history here). Researcher James Bradley noted that pseudo-science claimed that “white Europeans were described as closest to the angels, while black Africans….were closest to the apes”. Dating back to the slavery era, Black people were treated as if they were animals, herded onto boats, shackled, starved, and forced to labor in inhumane conditions without pay. Even today, Black children are adultified, the assumption of innocence and humanity ripped away from them because of a continuation of this dehumanization. This is evident in the sexualization and criminalization of Black children. In entertainment programming in the past, Black features were made fun of, using exaggerated Black paint and big red lips on white entertainers to mimic our looks and compare them to that of monkeys.
Comparing a Black person to a monkey or mimicking monkey noises around us is rooted in that history and is still used deliberately to demean and belittle Black people.
Even when done playfully, calling a little Black child a monkey is racist. It begins the othering, the adultifying and even the mammifying, at a young age.
Intent can change approach but it does not change impact.
Conversation Pointers
What to say to adults:
If you’ve witnessed a Black child be called a monkey playfully or with racist intent by an adult, here is some guidance on how to respond.
“Calling a Black child a monkey is actually racist. I can send you some resources on this but, in a nutshell, it harkens to the rampant dehumanization of Black people which leads to the adultification and criminalization of Black children, inequitable approaches to the care of Black kids and more. There is a long history of this dating back to the slavery era. Referring to them as monkeys, even if done playfully, is not okay and you should not do that.”*
*If the adult is a professional working with children, we recommend following the institution’s policy on reporting racist incidents.
What to say to children:
If you’ve witnessed a child call a Black child a monkey playfully or with racist intent, here is some guidance on how to respond.
“Hi! I heard you call your friend a monkey. That is wrong and is actually racist. Calling a Black person a monkey compares them to an animal. They are not an animal. They are a human being. We do not do that. The word monkey has been used to try to make Black people feel less than human and that is wrong. Let’s see if your friend is okay with accepting an apology and what you can do to make it better, and then let’s find a book to learn more about this.”
If you witness anyone calling a Black child a monkey, intervene.
Every time.
In real time.
This demonstrates to all children that racism will not be tolerated. It also demonstrates to adults that racism will not be tolerated and hard conversations need to be leaned into.
Kids Book Recommendation:
One of our favorite books to teach kids about the history of race is Our Skin, A First Conversation About Race by Dr. Megan Madison, Jessica Ralli and Isabel Roxas. This comes in a board book and a hard cover and, in our opinion, is one of the best intros to conversations about race for kids.
Adult Reading Recommendation:
The Ape Insult: A Short History of a Racist Idea
The Adultification of Black Children
Blackface: The Birth of An American Stereotype
As you head back to school, it’s imperative that we equip ourselves with the knowledge and tools to keep all kids safe at home, on the playground and in the classroom. It’s important for us parents to talk with our kids and it’s important for educators to both pro-actively and reactively protect all kids in classrooms, especially Black and Brown kids.
That’s it from us for today. Stay safe. Protect your neighbours and let your kiddos know you love them, okay?
Tabitha & Adam